Saturday, February 28, 2009

I change, I survive


The whole idea of this never-ending process of "in-search-of-me" plan, which made me move back home, start a new life, find new friends, get a new job etc. etc., was to help myself find out what I wanna do with my life.. The name's on it: "never-ending" so don't even think in couple of months I'm even close to announcing proudly how I know what I want! But for sure I know what I don't wanna be.. mmmm I'm not sure when you're not capable of doing something the word "want" finds a meaning tho.. So let's just say I know what I can't be!
I can never be a snowboarder! I mean the thrill, the challenge, the splash of snow, none of them can help me to overcome the fear of falling down by will of "Mean Gods" and the high possibility of breaking my butt..
But skiing is nothing when it comes to driving in Iran... I feel like I know as much about driving in here as straight people do about gays. I think stopping at stop signs or red lights, proper usage of left or right signals, respecting pedestrians and other drivers would save me from car accidents and straight people think that being gay is just a phase. A very long phase!
And we still haven't got to the biggest joke, which is working here.. I don't think I can ever work here.. When I got this new job I didn't bother to ask anything about the job responsibilities or any kind of other irrelevant questions, just because of the very generous salary they offered me..
In less than 2 months my dreamy workplace turned into slavery company and finally to "Are-You-Out-of-Your-Mind-Get-Out-Before-You-Lose-Your-Mind"!
Don't blame my moody character for leaving this job:
I share my "windowless" office with 2 other people including my manager and this other girl.. You don't need to have an imaginary mind to picture the scenario to understand how impossible it gets to breathe after spending 2-3 hours in here.
Since the room is too small nothing fits in here but a medium size table, where we put our PCs on.. That's why whenever I turn around, with no doubt I'd have a physical contact with one of the colleges..
Ask about "lunch break" and "lunch room" and throw them to the world of unknowns!
Say something about contract, you know the famous paper we all sign before starting a new job?, and get the impression like you're speaking Chinese.
Prioritizing tasks to them is like watching a stupid movie: time consuming and useless!
I'm telling ya, don't blame my moodiness for finishing it by end of this month!
All been said, I still have my reasons for staying in Iran.. Till when? Until my heart tells me it's time to go..

1 comment:

hosi said...

I wish your heart never tells you it.....
I believed your world is little bcuz you are a big philosopher with big emotions and feelings.
you have sentience even to slugs