For It Was Not into My Ear You Whispered, But into My Heart. It Was Not My Lips You Kissed, But My Soul!

I didn't say "Yes" cuz I love you, I said yes cuz I need you, not for my existence but for my happiness..
I said yes because of the new person you're making out of me, because of connecting my little world to the biggest world of love and be loved and because of making my heart smile with glow constantly.
And although even the thought of it scares me to death when I think of the tough times we might be facing, I still said yes cuz I knew if I don't I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you're the only one for me.

I Think the Killers Get Far Too Much Attention!

My family’s setting up a be-careful-everyone-around-you-is-a-psycho club and my boyfriend as the most eligible potential member for this watch-out union has been accepted by them. According to research from a criminologist, serial killers form 17% of the world’s population and to this club either the percentage has risen up to 97% or they truly believe this 17%’s main goal is to hunt me down, rape me and kill me!
I’m serious: For every single job interview I’ve had, they made sure I’m not going anywhere without the full knowledge of all these evil gangs that sell girls to Dubaian sheikhs or rape them and video tape them or steal from them etc. etc.
When I had to go to Italy by myself for work a couple of weeks ago, while my boyfriend, the VP of the club, asked for almost 1238763980 times if the factories I’m going to make a visit are trustworthy people, my mom made sure to make a quick research and just to her luck my sister had recently watched this movie that very bad things had happened to this girl who was travelling alone. The result? I didn’t make any contact with anyone there, spent all my money on shopping, arrived home totally broke but 100% safe!

اگه دختر به دنیا بیای خیلی چیزا رو باید یاد بگیری! اول از همه باید خیلی بجنگی تا بتونی بگی اگه خدایی وجود داشته باشه می‌شه مثِ یه پیرزنِ مو سفید یا یه دخترِ قشنگ نقاشیش کرد! خیلی باید بجنگی تا بتونی بگی وقتی حوا سیب ممنوعه رو چید گناه به وجود نیومد، اون روز یه قدرت باشکوه متولد شد که بهِش نافرمانی می‌گن

You Can't Teach People to be Lazy - Either They Have It, or They Don't.”

I've bought a treadmill.. In this country you don't need to move at all to get your job done.. Everything can be done by a simple phone call.. To convenience store to send you ice-cream and yogurt, to the manicurist/pedicurist to stop by your place and do your nails and hair! To this lady who brings you fried onion, vegetables, everything so you just mix them for dinner.. And we always wonder why non-Persians call us lazy! That's how we're brought up dude! I'm not gonna lie to you guys.. I loveeee it..

But it made me a bit concerned when my brother warned me if I go on like this my ass would get the shape of the bed!!

That's why I bout a treadmill.. Now my family members enjoy the scene of an almost dead girl, sweating and running on this monster just cuz in less than a month I'm going to Bali and I need my confidence back!

Hard Work Never Killed Anybody, But Why Take a Chance?

When I saw the latest opening at UNICEF, I was sure it's not just the name and the prestige that comes with it that I so wanna get a job there... Look at the job title: "Child protection something program.."

Maybe by working for children I realize I've always had this hidden love for kids somewhere deep down that I was totally unaware of.. How did you think Angelina Jolie ended up with so many children? The movie "Beyond Borders" changed her life forever.. Who knows maybe same thing happens to me and if not at least I can explain why I'll never have a kiddo...

But I can't lie to you.. It's not just those children that motivate me to apply for the job.. All those traveling it involves!!

Years ago I made an unspoken, unwritten contract with my dad.. Some people invest, some work.. I decided to do the job of traveling and he pays for that.. But when for some unspoken, unwritten reasons from my dad it got to an end, I thought it's time to find a more reliable employer!!

Anyways I decided to fill out their form to apply for the job but last part's kinda tricky.. They want me to write them in less than 1 page about my motivation to apply for this job and it's relevance to my qualifications..

Now just imagine when I write:

"Dear UNICEF HR Manager,

Since years ago I've had this blind hatred towards kids.. And I think by working for those little angels I will start liking them and maybe in future I be able to have 1 or more of mine!

Moreover I feel like travelling.

To sum up I'm your perfect candidate and looking forward to have an interview with you!"

I'm pretty sure the chances of renewing the contract with my dad is way higher than getting a job with them!

I change, I survive

The whole idea of this never-ending process of "in-search-of-me" plan, which made me move back home, start a new life, find new friends, get a new job etc. etc., was to help myself find out what I wanna do with my life.. The name's on it: "never-ending" so don't even think in couple of months I'm even close to announcing proudly how I know what I want! But for sure I know what I don't wanna be.. mmmm I'm not sure when you're not capable of doing something the word "want" finds a meaning tho.. So let's just say I know what I can't be!
I can never be a snowboarder! I mean the thrill, the challenge, the splash of snow, none of them can help me to overcome the fear of falling down by will of "Mean Gods" and the high possibility of breaking my butt..
But skiing is nothing when it comes to driving in Iran... I feel like I know as much about driving in here as straight people do about gays. I think stopping at stop signs or red lights, proper usage of left or right signals, respecting pedestrians and other drivers would save me from car accidents and straight people think that being gay is just a phase. A very long phase!
And we still haven't got to the biggest joke, which is working here.. I don't think I can ever work here.. When I got this new job I didn't bother to ask anything about the job responsibilities or any kind of other irrelevant questions, just because of the very generous salary they offered me..
In less than 2 months my dreamy workplace turned into slavery company and finally to "Are-You-Out-of-Your-Mind-Get-Out-Before-You-Lose-Your-Mind"!
Don't blame my moody character for leaving this job:
I share my "windowless" office with 2 other people including my manager and this other girl.. You don't need to have an imaginary mind to picture the scenario to understand how impossible it gets to breathe after spending 2-3 hours in here.
Since the room is too small nothing fits in here but a medium size table, where we put our PCs on.. That's why whenever I turn around, with no doubt I'd have a physical contact with one of the colleges..
Ask about "lunch break" and "lunch room" and throw them to the world of unknowns!
Say something about contract, you know the famous paper we all sign before starting a new job?, and get the impression like you're speaking Chinese.
Prioritizing tasks to them is like watching a stupid movie: time consuming and useless!
I'm telling ya, don't blame my moodiness for finishing it by end of this month!
All been said, I still have my reasons for staying in Iran.. Till when? Until my heart tells me it's time to go..

It Seems so Gloomy Out There, But It Shines Inside My Heart! It's Sometimes Completely Vis-a-Versa, Though!

A friend of mine while in Amsterdam, was staring at a tree when noticed the leaves changed into tiny ladies who are dancing and flirting with him and just to his surprise they would get offended if he stops looking at them.. So he spent his whole afternoon smiling at a tree and making sure lady leaves won't get upset with him!
I don't care what drug he was on, I wanna see leaves dance for me too.. You go to the store and very politely ask for a making-leaves-dance drug.. The whole point is to have a relax, thinking-free afternoon..
I think too much about things I don't wanna think about.. The sad part is that a part of me enjoys the suffer perhaps to support it that human being has been divided into two categories of Cruel Sadist and Heartbroken Masochist!

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy!

Have you ever thought of having a job with good money, lots of respect from others and not needing to do a lot for it?
I’d been thinking about it a lot and that’s why I’ve decided to become a PHILOSOPHER!!!
These people have the life that I idealize..
Just imagine you wake up in the morning, have your coffee ready, sit on the balcony, stare at horizon and when others ask you what you are doing, you give them one of those “can’t you see” looks and reply: “I’m working!!!”
Isn’t that fantastic??? We are in the 21st century and all everyone’s thinking about is working, working and more working..
And then there are these happy people that “think” they’re actually doing something.. And just imagine what a great feeling it is that you’re doing nothing and you don’t feel guilty about it!!!!I’m loving it!
It’s official! I’ll be a philosopher..
So those of you who keep asking me “did you get a job?” (Seriously can’t you think of something else to talk about??!! And yes I’m talking to you my dear “strong commenter”!!!!!!) anyways you’re answer is I am a self employed, well respected lady.. Soooo leave me alone and have a beautiful sunny day;)

و او که سبز بود .... سبز زیست .... سبز رفت ، تا سبز باشد جاودانه

بودن من سخت نیست...من از بیهوده بودن سخت دلگیرم

It's weird.. Since I was a kid I was sure I would do something really important in this world! Something to make people around me really proud of having me! The only problem was that I didn't know what I would do and what would make me a famous lady..

I started from being an expert surgeon.. Saving people's lives.. Being people's hope.. Sounded nice.. But that's when I was too young to know the requirement was to pass biology and the other thing I didn't know was how much I hate this course! So not very proudly I passed on being any kind of a doctor, geneticist or whatsoever that was related to this stupid course!

After that I wanted to become a famous painter. Someone who's drawings would get her to top of the world.. The paintings that would touch people's hearts.. On that era I wasn't familiar with the term "Talent".. It was a time when I used to think you can do it if you really want to! That's when I started understanding the world and how you can't have everything you wish for! (Thanks to all the forward e-mails now I know I should be thankful god didn't give me all the things I wished for tho!)

Becoming a famous pianist and introducing the whole world to my topnotch music master pieces sounded like the final answer to all my prayers.. Musics that would make it easy for people to fall in love.. To forget their problems and just relax.. The only problem was that the whole passion for music faded away in 6 months!!!!

Anyways the list goes on and on..

Seasons changed, years came one by one, I grew up.. The only thing that's still the same is that I don't know what's that important thing that I'm gonna do to have my name somewhere in the history!

I'm telling you I do have the feeling.. I've had it since years ago.. So don't doubt my famousy thingy!!! Just wait and see..

I just hope.. I pray deep down that I don't end up being famous while I'm stuck in fire, drawn in the wild, stormy sea, or am knocked up by a car because I'm trying to save someone else's life!

Typical Persian Girls

There are some "typicals" that you just know them as soon as you see them.. like typical on-diet people: Those you see at McDonald's ordering a Double Big Mac Meal with extra cheese and super size fries yet humbly order a diet coke with their food. Or typical photographers; Those who would turn a 2-hour-trip into a 6 hours just cuz every now and then they stop the vehicle to take some shots.. Those you hate to take your picture at parties cuz you'll never see those pictures again in your life.. Or typical moms.. Well generally speaking all moms, with the same driving habits, characteristics, hair style and dreams.. Or typical idiots, those who screw you up with no intentions and when they want to make it up to you they make it even worse!
These are the typicals that as soon as you see them you can categorize them but who the heck is this typical Persian girl that guys call us if we ask them to carry heavy stuffs for us or give us their seats when there's not enough seats for everyone.. Or if we cry if the movie ending's sad or get mad if we don't get the attention we want?
I really don't know who goes into this category, but from the tone and the look that comes with the phrase, I have a feeling it's not the nicest thing one could say to a girl.. And perhaps that's why we automatically get offended when someone dares to call us a typical Persian girl and of course obliged when they compliment us that we're not a typical Persian girl!
My favorite is when a guy friend told me he's read my weblog and he just doesn't get it why people would "waste" too much time on writing everything that comes to their mind! And after a deep look he gave me, he found the answer himself: "Hey if you have so much free time in hand why don't you go to the gym?!!" When he made sure that I'm not joking when I explained the reason I don't go to the gym is not cuz of lack of time, but simply cuz I don't like going to the gym, after a look of disbelief/disappointment on his face he mumbled "a typical Persian girl!" I normally argue about anything that I don't agree with.. The whole idea is either you convince me or I convince you.. But this time I just looked at him and changed the subject to something he could easily comprehend with that tiny-biny cell of brain god's put on his head by mistake and asked him if he liked his beer!
I've started thinking everything has an expiry date, so do friends.. That night I knew my friend's been expired for a quite a while!

Things that Make Me Smile :)

When my mom makes me honey milk in the morning before I leave, my dad calls my mom daily to tell her how much weight he's lost since they've been apart, Sandra makes the face as soon as the kiss-boss's-ass guy steps in, Kirash tries to speak Farsi to my mom, Arash tells me about his new job and life in Iran, Maryam dances while she's singing and feels sexy, Houman remembers the silliest things I've told him, Parnia calls right after work to tell me how tired she is and without waiting to breathe asks where to party, Atoosa or Anooshka answer the phone when I call MY home jut to let me know they're in a rush and hang up on me before I get the chance to tell them I'd called to talk to my mom!

When Abbasi's around, Mani cooks, Marjan makes a visit, Kashani talks about his dreams, Nasim takes care of the "team" and Lida becomes deep!

That smile you guys give.. Every time I think I can live without you, you give me that smile. I've started thinking you really shouldn't do that to me.

Stay Beautiful...

The first time I decided to be a "nun", I was 18!!! I was madly in love with this guy and the loser didn't love me back and I was so heart broken and everything and it was my first time being in love and thought to myself it's not worth it so decided to become a nun to avoid any more hassles!!! But like many other promises that I gave myself and couldn’t keep them, or simply cuz I knew guys need me more than god does, I kept postponing my engagement with god!
It was 10 years ago, but since then every now and then I still sometimes think of it as an option!
Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes they get you so high. Or maybe they are food: Sometimes simply delicious and yummy and sometimes smelly in a way that no matter how hungry you are you just pass.
Maybe they help bringing the best out of you, or making you look down at yourself. Maybe they make you cry with happiness and joy or make you cry with hurt and anger. And maybe they make you think you’re a princess or make you wish you were a nun!
There are tons of other maybe’s and for sure sometimes it is impossible to get them but the truth is that they are fun to be around and more importantly they can only do what you allow. And always remember: “It takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it takes only 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap them.”

The Most Effective Form of Birth Control is Spending the Day with Some Kids!!

I'm not good with kids.. It's not a secret, even people that don't know me would know it as soon as they see me with a kid!
A couple of nights ago I watched this movie "No Reservation" and made me think.. Actually this was the second movie with the same concept.. that a sister dies and the other one should take care of the dead sister's kids!!!!!! And the thing's that the poor sister is not ready at all for this huge responsibility! I mean if she was, she would have one herself, right??!!
And then I started feeling cold and scared to death when I remembered I have 2 sisters with 3 kids!!!!!
Since it wasn't something that I felt comfortable talking about it face to face I decided to write it in here:

Dear sisters,
mmmm I don't know how to put it in words without sounding harsh.. Soooo first of all let me tell you how much I love you guys and how deeply I hope you guys live forever and ever but you know what they say: "shit happens!!!" So I'm just writing to ask you, actually to beg you:
1) If possible do not die!!!
2) If for any reason it happened please please plzzzz don't ruin my and those angel's lives by letting me take care of them.. I mean we already have to deal with you not being around anymore!!! So please don't make it harder for any of us!!!
Atoosa honey do you remember how you were so sick 3 years ago and I thought you have SARS and how I was beside your bed asking you not to die cuz I had no clue what to do with your kids??!! It's still the same..
I know I have to work on my "taking some responsibility" skills, but let me start by adopting some plants!!! If I was successful with that I might be ready to move on to the next stage: i.e having a fish..
Make it short it will take forever for me to be ready for taking care of some kids!!!
So I'm just writing to tell you, you really need to take care of yourselves, eat vegetable, sleep well, do some exercise anything you think might help to live longer cuz in case of emergency I'll be in Africa!!!

There Can be Miracle When You Believe...

Gloria, the walking-talking lady, the pregnancy symptoms as she was the reason for my Monday headaches and afternoon nausea, my no one-said-to-be supervisor has got a boyfriend, which means she leaves work early, doesn't care what I do and since she spends most of her time on the phone, wouldn't find the time to talk to herself in front of me! God bless the guy's soul, finally the sun is shining at me and my real smile is greeting everyone!

Dear god, I know trying to make it last forever spoils the romance, but please make an exception, if necessary take 3 years of my precious life, let it snow right in the middle of June, but don't let him break up with her!

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.


Another airport.. Another fake smile and a big failure not to cry.. Another holding tight not wanting to let go.. Another last minute stupid joke instead of begging not to go.. Another freaking Good-Bye!
I'm gonna miss your dumb jokes, the early morning wake up calls, your "don't worry we'll do something about it when you get home!", even our fights! And tho you won't believe me I'm gonna miss going nuts cuz of the way you drive and listening to your annoying intolerable music!
I'm gonna miss your comments, your cooking and the proud look on your face over the burned dish of a so-called food, your messiness, your craziness, your kindness, your incredible sense of humour, your attitude towards life, your silliness.. I'm gonna miss you!
I'd even miss your last-minute-looking for cellphone and wallet, ironing your shirt, checking your e-mails, paying the bills or your sudden urge of change into a new outfit right before we leave the house!
Come back soon, this place is so boring without you!

I'm Lazy.. But It's the Lazy People Who Invented the Wheel and the Bicycle Because They Didn't Like Walking or Carrying Things

"I'm gonna die!" It was the first thing that came to my mind.. I'm gonna die lonely and scared with no loved ones around, no last words, no last moments.. No nothing.. I'm gonna die in this hot smelly room full of sweaty tired strangers with a dizzy head, sick stomach and a dark blurry vision and no one would even know what I'd been thinking about in my very last moments of my life!!!

It all happened in half an hour of that stupid hot yoga class we went to tonight!

The whole idea is to practice yoga in a room heated to 40.5°C with a humidity of 40% perhaps to sweat to death and find it difficult to breathe!

When we were registering the guy warned us that we might feel dizzy or nausea in the class as it happens to beginners especially to women and he added that we don't need to freak out and all we need to do is to lie down a bit and we should be fine! It sooooo wasn't fine!!

My 90-minute class only lasted for 30 minutes, when I started feeling dizzy and the whole thing went black! So I did what the guy had told me: Lied down for 10 minutes, got up to realize I'm feeling worse and spent the next 20 minutes thinking I'm dying for nothing and then left the class forever! After the paint ball, I think tonight was my worst experience of spending an evening with a friend!

I swear to god my body always shows negative reactions to any kind of exercising or working out or anything related to consuming energy!! I either get fat or numb and in this case dead!!

They say sports do not build character. They reveal it... And sounds like my character is to sit somewhere, relax and enjoy my movement-free life!

! قشنگ یعنی تعبیر عاشقانه اشکال

تو مسیر یه خیابون توی یک غروب پاییز زیر چتر خیس بارون

یه نگاه ساده از تویه سلام ساده از من چندتا لبخند دروغین

چند قدم پیاده رفتن چندتا پرسش از گذشته چندتا حرف کودکانه

دل زدن به قلب دریا یه سوال عاشقانه

همه چی ساده شروع شد ساده مثل دل سپردن

مثل عاشق شدن تو مثل عاشق شدن من

هر قدم که با تو رفتم هنوزم به خاطرم هست کوچه ها تموم نمی شد حتا کوچه های بن بست

همه چی ساده شروع شد تو مسیر یه خیابون توی یک غروب پاییز زیر چتر خیس بارون

This World without You is like a Music Without Tunes!!!

This girl here is quite something.. She's the combination of different interesting things (I'm trying to avoid using the word "weird" in public)

She can be a party animal and at the same time a workaholic.. She hates doing easy yummy stuffs like cooking but is a clean freak.. She believes she's not an alcoholic, we all agree with her in words but sigh in our hearts!

Do not watch a movie with her if her son is around.. She doesn't care how many other people are watching, she should explain every little thing that is going on in the movie for her 5-year-old kid!!! And if you wanna take picture make sure you bring one extra camera for her.. She can't help it.. Have an urge to take pictures of herself!!

No matter how much I've told her it's all about heart, her biggest wish is that she was white..

She thinks she's shy but the first time she met her husband's family she played piano and sang for them!!

She's the most easy going person that I know but gets realllyyyy upset when we ask her why you just give noon panir gerdoo to your family..

She believes in talking to god at nights, but she falls asleep before saying the first word..

It's just that she's just she!

I told you she's an interesting combination or as my cousin has said: "She's a phenomenon you can't see everyday: bright and silly, serious and crazy, hard-working and lazy, logical and obstinate." :)

I love you sooooo much!

Day 3 of Alcohol-Free Month.. Hands starting to shakeee!!!!!:S

I'm not sure how many of you know Mr. Zakarīya al-Rāzi, but for sure I'm one of his biggest fans.. He introduced me to my best friend: alcohol.. Well for such a long time I couldn't choose between Wine and Chocolate but since I've lost that killing crave for chocolate, Wine's been my one and only one..

But like all other love stories that don't last forever, my body got jealous of this "Platonic Love" and started reacting by gaining weight.. Like by making me "massive" I would give up!!!! Then started hurting me by giving me terrible stomach pains.. Since that didn't work either, now my precious body has decided to kill me by not functioning well!!!

It's like the times when my mom didn't like the guys I used to date and well first I would struggle and fight but after a while would realize it's not worth it and would simply give up..

Soooo to be friends with my body again I decided to stop drinking for a whole month.. Now there's a huge fight between my broken heart and my stubborn body.. I'll update you which one wins but something deep down tells me the heart is not that strong to win the battle... That's how it used to be and gonna be I guess!!!

Hot as Ice!

My niece, a 12-year-old, has started talking about cute and popular guys at school.. Although we joke around about it a lot, something inside me so bad wants her to stop!! Last night after a small chit-chat with her I started thinking about my life.. When I started realizing love.. The real love I mean.. Not all the imaginary lovers I had when I was her age from James Smith in Pocahontas and that singer in LA and my plans to grow up soon and move to US to be with him happily ever after, to that movie director who had just lost his wife and my only problem was how to convince my mom to let me marry a guy who's youngest child was my age!!!
Have I ever been in love? I think I was once, years ago when i was too young to understand what's going on!! I'd be lying if I say I don't miss that feeling.. You see, I wasn't only in love with the guy, I was in love with every single day of my life.. No matter how I felt or how bad my day was only a phone call from him and I was the shiniest girl in the globe!
When I compare myself to those days I can't help but wondering what has happened to that girl! I used to be emotional, nice and caring.. I used to love and be loved and be grateful for that.. I used to know what I want.. Most importantly I used to be a woman, when my heart was as hot as fire not as ice!!!
A friend of mine told me a couple of nights ago that he feels a part of him dies with every relationship that goes wrong! Is it only him or that's what happens to all of us??!! We give, we receive, we hurt, we get hurt, we go through emotional break downs, we "think" we've learned our lesson and feel stronger for the next one! What we don't know is that we're not getting stronger, we're making our guard around us thicker to protect ourselves from the unknown! From things that would hurt us again! So we can move on easier every time we're involved with a new person until it becomes a routine! First thing you don't like, you break it up and shout: "Next!"
How many "nexts" did I have, I simply don't know! There are many faces and names that fades out in time..

But the whole procedure has made a new person out of me.. Someone who can't trust her feelings herself.. Gets attached easily, disattached easier.. Loves this minute, doubts her feelings the very next minute.. Gets mad and forgives, gets upset and moves on, gets hurt shrugs and calls it a hard luck!!!! Someone who cares and doesn't care at the same time.. Laughs at the same thing that made her cry the night before.. Someone who looks for love everywhere but when she finds it she gets panic attacks, feels suffocated and runs away!!!

Now when I feel my niece is at the age of starting to experience emotional stuffs how can I warn her about the outcomes without sounding like a loser?? How would a 12 year old understand when I tell her she needs to be careful that she might end up getting hurt but still has to have her hopes up and look forward to a beautiful relationship?? Would she understand it if I tell her variety is spice of life but she needs to get familiar with the term "enough"? How can I explain to her that what goes around, comes around and she needs to pay extra care while she's dealing with others' feelings! That she shouldn't want to be everything to someone or makes someone everything, that all she needs is to be something to someone!

My dad says when you can put your finger on where the problem is you've already passed 50% of the way.. I know I'm on my half way but the question is isn't it too late to change to be able to pass the second half??!!

Too Tired to Function...

After months of asking, begging almost crying for my manager to get me more involved, I finally got into accounting.. Now every morning me and my mathematicsless brain go to work, stare at the endless bunch of numbers and control sheets, remember the good old days of doing nothing and sigh!!!!!
I can't really tell if my boss (the main boss I mean, cuz everyone even our receptionist acts as my boss!!!!) likes me.. Last time he told me he's gonna get me a soup (I've started feeling old. The whole winter I was sick, coughing and complaining about the pain in my bones!!!) and when I asked him what kind of a soup he added that he's gonna surprise me!
((Why I always think surprises are good stuff??))

He brought me a Caribbean Chicken Soup.. What he forgot to tell me, most likely cuz it was the "surprise", was that there were 2 chicken feet in the soup!!! Only the idea of having 2 disgusting chicken feet right under my nose made me sick enough not to be able to touch my soup, so I hid my yukky chicken feet soup in the garbage bin, thanked him and promised myself not to fall for his surprises again!!!!
And now this accounting thingy.. I'm really not sure if he gave me more responsibilities cuz he thought I could do them or gave them to me to make me quiet for a while!!!!

In less than a month I either get a nice, yeayyy-I-did-it promotion, or would go down with a pure humiliation!!!!
This new year I asked god to give me something like a camel's hump, where I can save some energy.. So if I sleep well on weekend I can stay awake on weeknights!! Perhaps this way I wouldn't fall asleep for our new year next year and wouldn't feel this tired while I'm at work and could manage to smile when people keep talking about stuffs that I have no interest in..
This morning I saw this lady I barely know in our elevator, from the basement to 9th floor she told me the whole story of what a nasty Easter she had this year as she just found out her husband is cheating on her and how lucky I am for not having to live with a pig!!! I'm a good girl and listen to others advices.. the whole day I felt really happy for not having to live with a pig only falling for the pigs!!!!!!!

If God Hadn't Made Her, I would Have Ordered One!!!

My oldest sister,mother of 2, announced very proudly that her new year's resolution is to become selfish and stared at me like waiting for me to say: "Oooh Good for ya!!!" and since she's very physically strong I didn't dare to ask her why!!
Since I was a kid whenever she wanted to make me do something she would simply sit on me and start tickling me.. For most of the people and Oxford dictionary tickle means to touch the body LIGHTLY so as to cause laughter or twitching movements. For my family that has her around it means feeling some irony sticks scratching your bones give you such a pain that makes you make funny noises, which she believes is the way we all laugh!!!
Her nickname is "hamechindaan" since she thinks she knows everything and her most reliable source is her husband!! I swear to god I can see her at nights lying down on her tummy in their bed, her hands under her chin, tangling her legs gently up and down and listening to her husband trying to memorize every single word to transfer to us the day after!!! And if we correct her about some of the info she just gives us one of those What-Do-You-Know looks and says: "Saeid says that!!!!!" like he's the top source of CNN News!!
Her early morning and late night calls are nothing but trouble, mostly regarding her kids.. Either she wants me to drop them off somewhere or pick them up from somewhere just cuz she can't say "No" to her children and it's really easy for her not taking any No's from me!!!

I can't recall a moment when she's accepted she's made a mistake or perhaps has been wrong!!! I mean even when she asked my other sister if our friend's daughter is a retard and the mother heard her and got upset, she just got mad how dare someone eaves dropping her very private conversation right in the middle of the party at dinner table!!!! And when I asked her what would she's done if the lady had said the same thing about her son her explanation was that she would have got extremely offended just cuz her son does not look like a retard!!
Joke around with her no matter what but say something about her age and say good-bye to life!!
When you're upset or mad at something don't get near her cuz she finds it funny to give comments that drives you crazy and still thinks her biggest mistake was that she didn't become a psychologist!
God bless those people's soul that she doesn't like, cuz she thinks her major responsibility is to show them she doesn't like them verbally, emotionally, non-verbally, body languagely everything!
She's one of the most generous people I've ever known but still has a special sensitivity over her belongings.. The last time we were at her house we had to leave our poker game unfinished because of a couple of Red Wine drops on her furniture!!! And when her daughter stepped on her "sabzeh" she was growing for "haft sin" she sat close to her plant and cried like she's saying goodbye to her kid!!

She cries easily, laughs easier and loves the easiest.. She is a woman to love;)

عید هرگز نه فراموش می شود، نه گم اما این من فراموش شده است که باید به یاد آورده شود پیدا شود نو شود ...سال نو مبارک

هِی عهد می کنم که دگر خم نمی شوم

دیگر اسیر ِ گیسوی ِ درهم نمی شوم

هِی توبه می کنم و باز توبه می شکنم

باری حقیقتی است: من آدم نمی شوم

Monday.. Monday.. Monday!!!

One of the hardest things to do in life is when you're too tired to even move your head and you have to go to work, smile and pretend you're energetic, interested and of course enthusiast!! So you sit at your computer, you have the most serious face like you're operating a heart surgery with a slight frown to say you're in deep thoughts of problem solving but in reality you're doing nothing but staring at your screen and begging god to help the day passes ASAP!!
You have your first coffee and remember coffee's had never helped you stay awake before.. So perhaps you need a second cup to see the miracle! Trying not to lose your faith you pour your 3rd cup and that's when you start feeling sick in your stomach!!! Now you're sleepy, feeling sick inside and are mad at yourself for keep forgetting coffee's never been the solution!!!
And then there's this lady who's our Corp Law Secretary but acts like her main responsibility is to supervise me!! I have quite a time with her.. I mean she even makes me laugh IF I'm in a good mood.. But Monday morning with a little headache, tired body, sleepy eyes and sick stomach I can't even stand myself.. And Gushhhh you need hell of a patience and a free spirit to be able to deal with her cuz she has a tendency of talking to herself at my desk, which makes me feel really uncomfortable cuz I've no clue how to react.. Like when she talks about her bills I don't know how to contribute cuz all that comes to my mind is to ask how much is her bill and it's rude to ask people you barely know how much they pay for their bills!!! And then as she's talking she walks away and yuppp still talking.. So I can hear her saying something just can't hear the words and I don't know should I follow her? Ignore her? Or simply just smile and do my thing? Annnddd the best part's our morning time when she grabs the Toronto Star and reads her horoscope for me.. I mean why on earth do I wanna know what's gonna happen to her everyday with her own comments and interpretations regarding each line she reads which usually relates to her mom, perhaps the only person who spends her time with her cuz well mother-to-daughter love is an unconditional love no matter what a weirdo creature you've handed over the world!!!
I'm telling you god's made her by end of the week when she was way too tired to think what she's doing!!!! Good job God! Gooood Job!

I Feel Sorry for People Who Don't Drink. When They Wake Up in the Morning, That's as Good as They're Going to Feel All Day!!!

All the Good Things Come to an End!!

I'm not a big fan of Good-Byes.. That's why I hate it to go to the airport! Those last words kill me! All I can say is to be careful, or have a safe trip, or don't forget to call while all I wanna say is: “Please don't go!!!”
I don't like the endings in general.. Like when a good movie, a nice vacation, a delicious food, a fun party, a sweet chocolate bar, the weekend, a good book, the last glass of wine, a sunny warm day, a good conversation, a dream, a kiss, a moment when you hold hands, a friendship or a relationship ends!!!
And it's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more!!!

The Weather Lady Felt Funny Today!! She said:"It's Snowing Still and Freezing BUT We Haven't Had an Earthquake Lately!!!!!"

One of the problems with living in an “Ice Land” is that no matter what kind of a weather alert you receive from snowfall to freezing rain and blizzard alerts, no matter if you're stuck in your own drive way or can't start your car and no matter if all the busses are cancelled because of the heavy snow and icy dangerous roads, the schools are still open, work expects you to be there on time and basically life goes on like nothing abnormal has happened!
But the truth is that 30 cm of snow has happened, roads are not passable and you can't do anything about it but wishing you were a bird not because of the incredible feeling you get of flying but to find a way to skip the crazy traffic, stressed out drivers and of course the sliding cars!!!!!
But living here makes you accept the fact that "snow is water, ice is water and water is water.. These three are one!!!"
Dear Mayor,

They say when it snows, you have two choices: Shovel or making Snow Angels! You've added up a 3rd option: leaving it to god, sun and spring to melt it for us!!!
This morning I felt really bad for HWY 403 cuz sounds like no one even knows it's existed.. After last night's heavy snow, this morning all the roads were clear but as soon as I turned into 403 I thought I've entered Alaska..No body had cared enough to remove the snow from the highway!!! And it wasn't just me.. Other drivers looked confused too!!!

So if you're reading this (Oh by the way I would get really offended if I notice you don't read my stuff!!!) and if you don't care about cars, times and lives of 1,349,006 commuters who take this highway to get to work, at least have some considerations for the poor isolated road and don't let it feel so left out and clear the snow off the road!!! You never know maybe it votes for you next time!!!

My Roommate...My Hero;)

I was writing something totally different..it was deep and thoughtful I was almost done when my brother woke up and I just decided to leave my thoughtful, deep writing aside and start writing about my roommate..
I'm not sure how many of you watch Friends but if you do and if you know "Ross Gellar" then you know my brother..
He's one of the most special people in my life and although we are way too different and make fun of each other all the time, I still feel like his opinions have the most influence on me, although I act like they don't!
I usually wake up earlier than him and now that I'm listening to his music I know why... Those couple of hours in the morning that I have while he's sleeping are the only hours that I can relax and chill without being disturbed by the most annoying musics in the whole world! and the worst's that his lap top's broken and he uses the PC which is right behind my room and even if i don't wanna listen to his stuffs I have no other choice!
And god bless whoever introduced him to the music world, I have the same problem when we are in the car! And since it's our unwritten, unspoken commitment to be together wherever we go, it sounds like I should get used to it and I still don't know why/how I haven't yet!
Living with him is like an adventure,i.e wandering from one room to the other and cleaning up his mess and also dealing with "so-called" friends who he suddenly without an at least one day notice or anyhting finds intolerable and I, as the nice girl, should find ways to let them know why they're not welcome to our place anymore!
One of his favorite things to do is shopping...since he was a little kid he had his own language and it was others responsibilities to understand what he says.. For him shopping is going to a movie theatre! So never get fooled if he called you and asked you if you're up for shopping!
He loves you when you cook for him he'll give u a kiss on your chick, open the fridge and have a cold pizza and leaves! I think only the idea of having a warm, home made food satisfies him but deep down he just craves for junk food!
And you know how women are known for getting ready late??!!! OBJECTION!!! Some of you know how everytime I should wait for at least 20 minutes before he gets ready, and then another 10 minutes looking for his cellphone and wallet!
I told you living with him is interesting!
mmm if you were looking for a unique roommate call my cell..
love you bro;)

Keep the Distance.. You Might Get Sick!!!!

Since couple of days ago my best friends have been Neocitran and Turnip supposedly to help me be able to breathe again, stop coughing and go back to normal! I hate it when I'm sick.. First of all it gives me a funny look just the way crying, drunkenness, sleep deprivation and feeling worn out do: Swollen small eyes, big red nose and a pale complexion, which you should agree with me are not the greatest help of boosting a self confidence! And when I cough sometimes it makes a weird noise that makes me reallly uncomfortable when I wanna cough in public!!!!
And the worse is that I still have to go to work just cuz I've made up all these different kinda excuses for not going to work that this time the only reason for not goin to work is either quitting or calling in Dead!!!!!!!

And I hate it more when I'm sick on weekends..

The result? While everyone's out snow fighting, having fun and thanking whoever invented the weekend, I'm lying down in my bed, having a hot water bag on the right side of my face (I'm not sure if it's a sinusitis or what but my right eye, eyebrow and ear are cooperating pretty well to kill me in pain) and writing this and wishing it was Sunday when you're miserable enough that nothing in this world even a sore throat or a running nose can make you feel more down!!!
Going back to sleep.. Please send me flowers and remind me I'm pretty.. Thanks!

I Don't Mind Coming to Work,

But that Eight Hour Wait to Go Home is a Bitch!!!!

چه بگویم که غم از دل برود چون تو بیایی

It's Time to be A Big Girl Now.. And Big Girls Don't Cry!!!!

Just when I thought I've cured my incurable disease of Crying I proved myself wrong!!!! I don't know what I expected, the name's on it: INCURABLE!!! And I knew it's coming just don't know why I didn't do something about it before making a total clown out of myself!!! I mean for some unknown reasons I wasn't feeling that great inside lately.. And the harder I tried not to show it outside, the downer I felt inside.. You know how you feel you wanna cry to cool down but find it stupid to cry over something you don't know? So you find a nice, eligible excuse to cry for..
Nice and eligible excuse..mmm... That's for normal people I guess.. I just need an excuse.. and when I asked my brother to bring me ice cream and he didn't and it made me cry I knew I'll be the real definition of embarrassment in a very near future and just to my luck it happened right in the middle of my dad's birth day party!!!! First I broke the plate I had my appetizer in.. People started giving me those familiar looks that say:"Again??!!" Yeaahh I have a reputation of dropping down stuffs, breaking dishes and spilling drinks on the floor!!! I'm not sure if it was the broken dish, those odd looks or simply the not-feeling-good-lately thingy, which made me hide in the first place close to me, so people don't see me cry!!!! I had quite a time in that 20-25 minutes in the storage room.. Kept telling myself grown ups don't cry over a broken dish, which wasn't really a big help cuz made me get worse!!!
The second time I was dancing and I swear to god this time wasn't my fault someone pushed me and well my drink spilt on the carpet! Naturally I hadn't totally overcome my previous mistake when this one happened.. This time my shelter was the washroom.. To help myself feel better I looked into the mirror.. Cuz you know how girls look prettier when they cry in the movies?

Let me tell you something really really important: Hollywood movies are nothing but none sense.. They make you think life's beautiful.. And that you'll never end up being lonely cuz in the very last minute the guy shows up in the airport, or by your house, or finds you in your secret place!!!! And they make you think if you cry your eyes get shinier and more beautiful, and when you wake up in the morning you're just like a super star!!! Yup I looked at myself just to see a very big red nose, 2 very small red eyes and crooked lips!!!!
Anyways as embarrassing as the whole thing was I cried enough.. Last night laughed enough about it with my friend Mr. Moody, who can be super fun or the most depressing guy on the whole globe and last night I had a pleasure to spend couple of hours with Mr. Fun and now I feel happy and light again!!!
So yeah that's my story.. I'm a cry girl and can't help it.. But well at least I don't have the incurable disease lots of the people I encounter with have: Stupidity!!! And I believe it's quite a relief!!!

My Fortune!!!

My today's fortune is that me and my wife will be happy in our life together!!!

Having started my day with a hangover, watery/teary right eye and a bleeding nose, acting like nothing's wrong to avoid all types of future concerns and arguments regarding drinking too much, not sleeping too well, possible coming cancers and all other related stuffs with my parents, this fortune was exactly what I was looking for to feel better!!!!!
Being trapped in one of the hardest decision making moments between falling back to sleep or getting up and taking a hot, relaxing bath I remembered my best friend's birthday was 2 weeks ago!! so I did what any good friend would do: Forgot all about going back to bed, headache, bleeding nose, hot and nice bath and instead I picked up the phone and called her to wish her a very happy belated birthday and let her know how much I love her!! But since people here spend their whole weekend talking to their friends/families in Iran it's really hard to have a good conversation with a good friend over the phone in a Sunday afternoon!!
I was explaining the whole thing to her and promising her I'll call her during the weekday when in one of the pauses I needed to breathe she found a second to tell me she has to tell me something quite urgent and very important before I go.. And then went on how she's gone to this psychic and the lady out of nowhere has told her that she's to tell me I shouldn't date a guy younger than me cuz I will end up marrying him and I'll get pregnant but before my baby boy turns 1 I'll get divorce!!!! (To sum up: My wife will be happy, my husband's very unhappy and I end up raising my baby boy alone!!!! That's quite messed up man!!!!)
A few words to guys younger than me:
Although I love you all but with a broken heart have to inform you that for the sake of my kid I only date older guys!!!I mean if one day I have a kid I want him has a happy family.. I'm brought up in a very happy, loving family and I turned out to be a commitment freak.. what's gonna happen to my poor,innocent kid that is a result of a very unhappy marriage??!!
A few words to guys older than me:
I love you guys even more than the younger ones.. I just need you to promise me if one day you married me and if we had a kid don't divorce me.. (Forget about the kid, don't divorce me in general and take me somewhere warm!!!!)
Thanks:)

She remembers when she gave him a plastic spoon she had saved from their first dinner out at a Chinese restaurant, then wonders aloud, "When is that moment in a relationship when a spoon becomes just a spoon?''

Fool Me Once Shame on YOU.. Fool Me Twice, Shame on ME!!!!

Dear liars:

Lying is bad and it makes you a bad person!!! It ruins the friendship, relationship, everything.. People lose their trust in you and it shows you don't have a strong personality and god knows nothing's sexier than power and strength for a guy!!

Above all if you lie you'll go to hell and a big, hairy, ugly monkey would jump up and down on your tongue!!!!!!

But it's like telling a smoker do not smoke cuz smoking is bad for your health and you'll get cancer!! Real smokers would never listen to you simply cuz they never think bad things gonna happen to them..

Now no matter how much I warn the liar community not to lie and inform them about its subsequents and everything they just won't listen to me..

So I'm just writing to ask you guys at least be a lil smarter and more creative and make sure not to insult our intelligence when you lie.. Cuz it's offensive, rude and disrespectful.. And it's disgusting and for sure you don't wanna be a sickening guy!!!

It's not too much to ask YOU right? But well sounds like YOU is too busy with nothing that basically has not time for anything even my words of wisdom and it's sad!!!!!!

You Can't Lose Something You Never Had..

And perhaps you shouldn't miss it.. I mean how can you miss something you never had??

Now why I still miss it so bad, perhaps is a question that my philosopher colleagues should find the answer for!!! Cuz I'm so freaking tired of all this missing and not having and questioning and not finding the answer and everything!!!!

Never Take a Job Where Winter Winds Can Blow Up Your Pants!!!

I wish I was a polar bear.. They're cute, strong, know how to fish and of course enjoy the cold weather.. In fact they only survive in cold.. So every morning when they open their eyes and see all the snow, freezing rain, 428 car accidents, red noses, ears and eyes, basically everything that makes you and me suffer, they smile and thank god for another beautiful day to live!!!! I mean if it's sunny, it's a bonus but if it's not not a big deal, no suicide no depression, no nothing!!!

This land's made for them not for cute, strong girls who don't know how to fish and for sure can't stand the cold like you and me!!!

The more I think about it the more I come to this conclusion that Santa's not real.. My wish list was either I become a polar bear or move to Florida! None of them happened!! And I won't write to him anymore!!!

کنم هر شب دعایی کز دلم بیرون رود مهرت

ولی آهسته میگویم: خدایا بی اثر باشد

They Say the Smallest Prayer Can Still be Heard!

Dear God:
Please help Atoosa stays young forever, make Anooshka a lil whiter, help others understand Arash's ideologies and find a way to let Marjan know piggy tail style doesn't suit her!!!
Please do something for Maryam so she eats as much as she wants but doesn't gain any weight, and just do your best to make Mani less grumpy!
Dear God:
Make Abbassi happy again and vanish this miserable creature you've sent us instead and don't change Shahram a bit cuz we love him as is! Make Kashani's labors end their strike and get back to work, and show me the way to Kazi's heart so he tells me that thing everyone knows but me!!!
Dear God:
Let Kamran knows I'm sorry for what I said and make him forget the whole last night conversation!
Please make sure Ali wouldn't change his mind about the party, Sibel wouldn't work on Tuesday and Sahar wouldn't feel I was the reason we cancelled the Windsor trip!!!
Dear God,
Please freeze this week and let me enjoy every single minute of it and find a way I don't go back to work any more.. (Lord in case you needed a hint winning a lottery could be a help!!!)
Make an exception and omit this hang over thingy from the whole universe, and help people live in a head-ache, stomach-ache and nausea free world!!!
Thanks God, Amen!

!!! باز هم میگویم حال ما خوب است ولی تو باور نکن

و بعد از آن همه طوفان و وهم و پرسش و تردید

کسی از پشت قاب پنجره آرام و زیبا گفت

تو هم در پاسخ این بی وفایی ها بگو در راه عشق و انتخاب آن خطا کردم

و من در حالتی ما بین اشک و حسرت و تردید

کنار انتظاری که بدون پاسخ و سرد است

و من در اوج پاییزی ترین ویرانی یک دل

میان غصه ای از جنس کوچک یک ابر

نمیدانم چرا؟ شاید به رسم عادت پروانگیمان باز

برای شادی و خوشبختی باغ قشنگ آرزوهایت دعا کردم

May you learn;)

Contentment With the Past, Happiness With the Present, And Hope For the Future!

Did you know there are people who really mean it when they say they go nuts if they have nothing to do for a while??!!

One of my sisters says that a lot, but well I always thought she just enjoys being on my nerves!!!! And for others I just thought they say it to say I don't know they're important or busy or unique.. you know things like that!!!

I mean seriously who would freak out because of having nothing to do, lying in front of the TV, talking on the phone, reading, going to beauty salons, going out and simply chilling??!!

When I look back it's not been such a long time ago since I'd had such a wonderfully amazing life and as stupid as I am I said NO to my heaven and started this new life style!

Do you think I was bored with that?

Hell No! Doing nothing and enjoying that used to be my thing!!!

The only reason I had to change was the embarrassment I felt whenever someone asked me:"So what do you do?!"

So with a broken heart, intense animosity towards early morning wake ups, and hatred for saying good-bye to all my fun times I started working!

But well this whole having-a-job thingy has helped me learn a lot about myself..

I mean I never knew how much I could hate Mondays and how freaking in love could be with after 4:30 P.M.s and Friday nights!!! I never knew I could spend the whole Sunday evenings feeling sorry for myself that another week's ahead of me.. I even didn't know that the 2 hours traffic on the way back home can make me so tired that all I think about be my comfy bed not having wine with a friend!!! I also didn't know what a patient girl I could be when all I wanna do is punching that bastard at work still smiling at him and say "Sure, I'll do that in 5 minutes!!" just cuz I wanna get promoted!!!

And above all I NEVER EVER knew I could stand this whole shit and still enjoying that.. Yup I've started loving my new boring hectic lifestyle.. (To all of you who keep reminding me don't try changing people cuz it's impossible!!!)

So again and again cheers to impossibles;)

... یه نفر که خوب می دونم گریه هامو دوست نداره

Not All The Mistakes Are Too Much Fun to Just Make Once!!!

I have a new confession to make:
My alcohol-Free Month was a big failure.. It turned out to be an alcohol-free week!!!! Anywaysss now I've made a new deal with myself and this time I HAVE TO stick to my plan:

I'm gonna start a Not-Doing-a-Stupid-Thing month!

Seriously over the past month almost two or three times a week I feel something in my stomach when I remember what I did/said the night before and I think it's time to stop that!

I'm not gonna say it's not been fun (at least some of them were) but time to start acting like a good, smart, logical girl!!!

من برای سال ها می نویسم

سالها بعد که چشمان تو عاشق می شوند

اما افسوس که قصه مادربزرگ درست بود

... همیشه یکی بود یکی نبود

Isn't It a Beauty??!!

Dear people,
Thanks a lot to all of you for all your discouragements about my new car.. Thanks for reminding me how much I should pay for the "Damn Car" and ofcourse the "Freaking Gas".. Don't talk to me like I don't understand cuz I do, it's just that I don't care.. So please stop letting me know what nice cars I could get with this amount.. Cuz I think IT IS a nice car and he's just perfect.. (Yeah it's a "he" I just can't drive a "she" all the time!!!)
So next person who gives me a negative comment about the newest love of my life I've no other choice but punching!!!!
And I don't get it.. When I've already got something and am really excited about it what's the point of ruining the mood just cuz I could get a better deal when you all know there's no way I could cancel the contract and moreover you can see how happy I am? Seriously what's wrong with you all?? Can't you see me happy? I like the happy me.. I talk more, smile more, and become exceptionally more easy going..
I think your first job, first car, first house stuffs like this should be something that totally satisfies you and makes you smile.. Cuz you'll never forget any of them! My dad still remembers his first car but ask him about his 3rd car and I bet he can't reply back without thinking!
It's like the first kiss.. I don't know any person who doesn't remember their first kiss with all the details.. And I needed to get something that makes me feel like "Yup I did it" whenever I see it, drive it everything!
And nope I'm not thinking about saving and stuffs.. I'll start saving when I feel I have to.. So stop ruining my day and leave me alone!
Thanks!

طفلکی کرم ابریشم

چه سرنوشت غم انگیزی که کرم کوچک ابریشم تمام عمر قفس میبافت ولی به فکر پریدن بود

Good Name in Man and Woman Is the Immediate Jewel of Their Souls!

There's this guy at work, we're on different floors but randomly bump into each other, have a small talk and leave.. This morning he asked my name and when I told him my name he stared at me like I'm a creature from some other planet and said: "Geez and I thought I have a strange name!"
So I asked for his name.. The guy's name is Kroom!!!!! Just to make it even weirder he added it's exactly like "Broom" but with "K"!!! And a Broom with K thought my name is weird!!!!!!
Last night on facebook I noticed this new application that calculates how sexy your name is.. As soon as I find the time I'll calculate my name just to compare it to his.. If in sexiness his name beats mine as well, I'm gonna cheat on our cleaning guy and make him my favorite!!!!!

Whoever Said Money Can't Buy Happiness is a Total Idiot!!!!!

Saturday morning I went to get a car.. I thought it should be this easy.. You go, you see, you like and you buy!!!!!

I was at my friend's and told him I have to go to buy a car but will be there by 2 to go for lunch.. That time I was so excited about the new unknown car that didn't notice the surprise and perhaps pity in his eyes..

I'm pretty sure you all know by now that I could make it to be there on time for lunch and of course with no new car!!! But I learned lots of things today regarding buying a car and would like to share it with you guys just to make sure you wouldn't make same mistakes:

1) You need to do lots of researches before actually going to the dealership!

2) You have to know your budget and understand your limits (I went to Mercedes-Benz.. When the sales guy found out about the price that was on my mind and the down payment I wanted to pay, very sincerely showed me the exit door!!!!!!)

3) Bye bye luxury, Classy, Look-at-Me-I'm-so-Hot cars.. And hello to Whatever-I-Need-This-Crap-to-Get-Me-to-Work cars!!!!!!

Life's so unfair and it's so freaking hard to get rich in this country and to add to my emotional pain and sorrow I found out Paris Hilton gets 1,000,000$ to attend a party!!!! I swear to god I can do that.. And you know what they say: "If you really enjoy what you're doing, you're gonna nail it!"

C'mon people you all know how only the idea of a possible party makes me excited for weeks.. Getting paid for just showing up!!!! Can you believe that??!!

Sooooo bank robbery is not my option anymore ( My apologies to all of you who I promised I would help!!!!) I wanna be a celebrity.. Only if Mr. Hilton was my grandpa things could get kinda easier!!!! But I've to start from somewhere anyways..

So dear people please pay me when I come to your parties!!

Thanks and have a sunny day!

And All that I can See is Just a Yellow Lemon Tree!!!

How Come We Can Land a Spaceship on the Moon, But I still Have To Brush My Teeth Every Night??!!

I'm not sure if I'm really in a good mood these days or I'm simply surrounded by funny people.. But people make me laugh with their comments.. I'll give you an example:

So this guy told me a couple of days ago that he knows what type of a girl I am.. Being curious to know what an stranger thinks about me I let him go on.. and he, very proudly, announced that: "You are type of a girl that sometimes sleep without brushing your teeth!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I mean C'mon how many people you guys know that brush their teeth every single night? And if you know or you're one of them I'm really sorry to let you know that you or the person you know is a freak!

I'm serious!!! What type of a normal person doesn't have a night that suddenly decides to sleep over at a friend's, or passes out cuz of drinking/smoking too much... Or is just too tired to get up and brush those teeth??

You don't believe me? Let me tell you something.. My best friend back home studies psychology and she once told me that according to psychologists those group of people that do everything as they're supposed to do i.e. always obey the rules, never do anything wrong etc. etc. are just bunch of freaks.. Soooo whenever I did/do something stupid (which I should mention I have a talent in doing that) I just remind myself at least I'm normal...

You wanna prove you're normal?? Every now and then go crazy and make people around you crazy.. Do that and you'll see you've not only avoided being a freak, but also have thrown yourself miles away from getting old!!!! :)

When you like your work place and every one's so friendly and likable it's kinda hard to pick your favorite.. But I think so far our Spanish Cleaning Guy is my #1. The whole thing started the very first day I met him: He was teaching Sandra, our receptionist, Spanish and asked me if I'm Spanish and I explained to him very clearly that I'm not!! Since then he keeps talking Spanish to me as soon as he sees me!!! Being 100% positive he totally understood I'm Persian not Spanish, I bet he just does that to put me in my "I-Don't-Know" Position...
You know how some people's expression's really funny when they don't know what's going on? I think I'm one of them.. My eyes widen with confusion, my mouth drops open and I remain silent to figure out what's going on.. And sounds like our Cleaning Guy has found a way to make his day by making me look dumb!!!
Now why he's my favorite??!! I just like his spirit.. Some people make the best out of everyhting.. I don't care if he does that by making me look dumb.. The guy has a great sense of humor which counts and I simply appreciate that!!!! And more importantly (VERY SECRETLY) I'm learning Spanish with the hope that one day I'll be able to answer him back in Sapnish and Hopefully Hopefullyyyy I'll see my dumb expression in his face;)

گفتی که می بوسم تو را
گفتم تمنا می کنم
گفتی اگر بیند کسی
گفتم که حاشا می کنم
گفتی ز بخت بد اگر ناگه رقیب آید ز در ؟؟
گفتم که با افسونگری او را ز سر وا می کنم
گفتی که از بی طاقتی دل قصد یغما می کند
گفتم که با یغما گران باری مدارا می کنم
گفتی که پیوند تو را با نقد هستی می خرم
گفتم که ارزانتر از این من با تو سودا می کنم
گفتی اگر از کوی خود روزی تو رو گویم برو؟؟
گفتم که صد سال دگر امروز و فردا می کنم

گفتی اگر از پای خود، زنجیر عشقت وا کنم؟؟
گفتم زتو دیوانه تر، دانی که پیدا می کنم

Aspiration for a Better Tomorrow!

Don't make promise when you are in Joy..
Don't reply when you are Sad..

Don't take decision when you are Angry..

Think Twice..Act Wise!

In Order to Make it Happen You Only Need One thing: EVERYTHING!!!!

Today at work my boss gave me this magazine, which he thought I might find it interesting and useful, with the comment that if I wanna succeed I need to increase my "general knowledge"!!!!

My whole idea of a magazine is gossips about celebrities so kinda surprised but very excitedly I opened the magazine just to find out with a broken heart that it was all about the growth of the shopping centres in North America!!!!! and since quite frankly I'm not a big fan of numbers I just started scanning it very quickly just in case he started talking about the boring articles I don't look as dumb as I thought I would!!

Anyways, I was going through the pages when I came to this advertisement with my title's topic..

"This would be a nice title to write about!!!" was my first thought and then I realized it's been a while since the last time I wrote..

I mean some times people get so busy with their every day life that they forget about their little worlds.. And I felt kinda bad.. Cuz my little world used to be where I would confide in whenever I felt like sharing and as soon as I reached to the point that I felt like finally I'm happy and satisfied with myself I forgot all about my precious little world..

I felt like one of those annoying people that keep calling you when they're down and as soon as they're done with that phase you simply don't hear from them anymore!!!!

So I'm just writing to let it know I'm not one of those annoying people.. The truth is that I don't find time to write!!! I mean when I'm at work tons of new things come to my mind to write about but I don't have access to my blog from there and when I get home there's always something to do.. Either people are coming over or I'm going somewhere perhaps just to prove to myself I've not turned into a boring gal..

And then late at night I'm so worried that I'm gonna oversleep the day after that all of the things that I wanted to write about flies away my mind!!!

And that's exactly why we don't have a part time philosopher!!! On behalf of all the philosophers let me tell you that we people need to be free to be able to focus!!!!

The only problem's that by thinking, focusing and writing you can never afford a Porsche and that's the problem of living in a materialistic world!!!!

There are two kinds of suffering:

The suffering that leads to more suffering and the suffering that leads to the end of suffering.

If you are not willing to face the second kind of suffering, you will surely continue to experience the first!!!

يادم باشد از چشمه درس خروش بگيرم و از آسمان درس پاك زيستن

يادم باشد سنگ خيلي تنهاست... اوراهم لطيف رفتار كنم مبادا ترك بردارد

يادم باشد براي درس گرفتن و درس دادن به دنيا آمده ام ... نه براي تكرار شتباهات گذشتگان

يادم باشد روز و روزگار خوش است وتنها دل ما دل نيست

يادم باشد جواب كين كمتر از مهر نباشد

.جواب دورنگي كمترازصداقت

.يادم باشد در برابر فرياد سكوت كنم...بر سياهي نور بپاشم

يادم باشد زندگي را دوست دارم

يادم باشد معجزه قاصدكها را باور داشته باشم

يادم باشد گره تنهايي و دلتنگي هركس فقط به دست دل خودش باز مي شود

يادم باشد هيچگاه لرزيدن دلم را پنهان نكنم تا تنها نمانم

يادم باشد هيچگاه از راستي نترسم و نترسانم

يادم باشد زندگي با عشق زيباست

يادم باشد زنده ام

They Keep Saying the Right Person Will Come Along, I Think Mine Got Hit By a Truck!!!!!

We've all heard the story that Alexander was so tired ..Almost had lost the war.. Was sitting by this wall looking at an ant, which was trying so hard to climb up the wall with a small piece of food in her mouth.. Almost half the way up the food, perhaps too heavy for her, fell down on the ground.. Little ant walked down the wall got her food went up and again it fell down.. Having nothing else to do, Alexander kept watching the ant.. The hard struggle to keep the food in her mouth while going up the wall.. Anyways long story short, he counted and the ant finally reached up the wall successfully with the food in her mouth after 3 hundred and something trying and failing.. And anyways Alexander realized when a small ant is so determined to get what she wants how come he couldn't.. So he went back and apparently won the war!!!
Why I'm saying all this totally irrelevant to the tile??!!

I think we all have this consistency somewhere deep down.. I mean “Most of us women like men, you know; it's just that we find them a constant disappointment" and we still go for it..

I'm not even sure anymore if we're trying to find love or simply are challenging ourselves to do the impossible!!!!

God bless us!;)

Afraid to Sell Yourself??!!

OK.. That's it.. Finally got a job..
I don't know how I feel yet! For sure happy, kinda worried and just a little tiny biny sad.. I mean saying good-bye to this life style is not easy!!!!

So it all started when my recruiter called me and was so excited about this job opportunity and he kept on talking about how big this company is and how full of opportunities it is!

The excitement started growing on me and made me kinda nervous.. What if the interview goes bad.. Any tips??!!

"Ah don't worry just try your best to sell yourself!!!"

So I went there not sure how to feel about selling myself to a total stranger!!!!!

The whole process of sales was pretty easy tho..

A big smile.. A nice compliment.. A brief description of myself and when she started talking I realized that I've successfully sold my self to this lady to work under her!!!!!!

Trust me it's not as bad as it sounds...

Awwwwww~~~

Just a quick description of the clip:

"I produced this animation as a way of proposing to my girlfriend (now wife) Natasha. I assembled a team of 20 animators to assist me, including co-workers, as well as students from my 3D character animation class at the Art Institute of California-San Francisco. We created more than four minutes of animation in just three months.

When it was completed, I surprised Natasha by bringing her to the Parkway Movie Theater in Oakland, where they played the animation on the big screen in front of over 100 of our friends and family. The entire event was filmed for the TLC television show "A Perfect Proposal.""

An Ostrich's Eye is Bigger than Its Brain. I Know Some People Like That!!!!!

I was at this woman's office.. She was sending an e-mail.. But sounded like she couldn't finish it.. and then she told me: "I'm really sorry it takes so long.. I'm trying not to insult someone!!!"
That time we both laughed..
But this morning when I wanted to write I just remembered the office lady.. Sometimes it's really hard to write to people or talk about them without insulting them!!!!
My dad has always told me silence is the best policy.. Whether you want to ignore someone, insult someone or whatever, just show no reaction whatsoever!!!! And my mom has taught me to listen to whatever my dad's told me!!!!!!
Now the problem's that I think we'd be living in a boring, perfect world if everybody wished everybody else well..
But what can I say??!! I'm a Lady and can't swear.. Well not in a public, at least!!!
Soooo let's just leave it unsaid, wishing each other well and continue our boring, perfect world!!!!!

Friends are Like Bras: Close to Your Heart and There for Support!!!

Is it possible that you're always happier when you're with your friends than spending some time alone with the guy you're dating?

For such a long time I'd been thinking or maybe deciding that commitment is not my thing. Casual dating, having fun is more my type.
I mean everyone's quite perfect for the first couple of months but after that they start being themselves and that's when it's their time to say good-bye! Is it possible that I haven't found my type yet or I just can't stand sharing my life with someone besides my family and friends who I've already shared it with?
Do you make it happen to love someone so truly that no matter what you still have the feeling for the dude or is it something that starts by a click and grows on you naturally??!!
One of the things about breaking up is that your friends become extremely nice to you. For those that this happens more often, they do have the privilege of enjoying this niceness more often! It's like “Friends are God's apology for relations!!!"
And that's when you realize how much you need them.. How much you appreciate them being your friend and being there for you..
you just can't help it but celebrating the happiness that they give you and feel like that's exactly what you want..

But what if when you're 40 or older??!! What if that's when you regret what you'd decided while you were Young and now wanting having a family??!! What if when it's too late to have your own family you realize you made a huge mistake??!!

For sure we're responsible for things that happen to us in the future but how do we know how we would feel by then to make it happen now??!!

The Big O was Right!

Your Celebrity Look-Alike!!!

All those who agree that being celebrity increases your sexiness say I...
I mean c'mon Sarah Jessica Parker is for sure a funny, lovable actress.. But a sexy, well dressed lady??!! Give me a break..
The whole thing started a couple of days ago when my friend called me and was so excited about this "your-celebrity-look-alike"website she had found.. And how the whole purpose is to put your picture there and the site would show you in percentage how much you look like a celebrity...
Quite interesting, eh?
And then she announced really proudly that she and S.J Parker have 79% similarity!!!! For the sake of our friendship I spent 15 minutes of my precious time convincing her she needs to shut it down right there and stop telling people, since it's a total insult to herself!
I'm telling you.. Tell the first person you see this evening: "Oh My God you're so like this actress I don't know her name".. And without giving it a second thought they'll thank you for the compliment without knowing if the gal is gorgeous enough to take it as a compliment!!!
I say it all but still couldn't wait to get off the phone and check out the website myself..
But the thing's that this windows vista is not compatible with lots of programs so until now I can't give you an exact percentage of my similarity to Angelina Jolie! Until I fix the problem had no other choice but putting the pic above but I should mention here the slight differences that you see is totally due to lack of experience in my
amateur photographer comparing to hers!!!! ;)

My Grumpy, Angry DoorMan!!!

From being officially homeless to having a nice, cozy place was quite a journey.. Although I've started liking the new place still miss the old one:

I'd had my most amazing times there.. Hosted the most adorable people there.. Saw the most beautiful sunrise there and since then have started one of my most precious journeys from there!

But recently I feel like I've missed our concierge people most! They were nice and friendly.. Well..sometimes too friendly.. I mean if I were in a rush had to find another door to exit cuz the day shift lady used to talk a lot..

And now here in this new condo there is this security guy that has chosen this job perhaps to punish himself!!!!! The dude hates his job!!

In the past couple of weeks since we were moving here, had to go downstairs a lot and had the pleasure to see him several times a day!!! Every single time I gave him a cheerful loud HI and in return he just mumbled something, which til now I'm not sure if he was saying hi back or simply swearing at me!!!!

The guy started getting on my nerves.. So I made a new deal with myself: "Just ignore him!" But the problem was that I couldn't help myself.. As soon as seeing him, another cheerful greeting and still same reaction..

It continued till 2 days ago when I had a job interview.. so went down stairs saw the guy and told him: " Hey wish me luck.. I've a job interview"

And for those of you who do not believe in miracles:

My grumpy, always upset mostly angry black doorman, smiled and said :" Oh yeah go and get it!"

Now I'm not sure if being jobless rises the sense of sympathy in people or simply the fact that I had done my hair, had put up make up and looked like a lady for the first time since we've moved here put a smile on his depressed face..

Whatever the reason was, these days me and my door man greet each other with a big smile and wish each other a nice and wonderful day!!

3 hoorays for this big achievement:)

شايد آن روز که سهراب نوشت :" تا شقايق هست زندگي بايد کرد"خبري از دل پر درد گل ياس نداشت

بايد اينجور نوشت هر گلي هم باشي چه شقايق چه گل پيچک و ياس زندگي اجبارست

Sadness is always the legacy of the past; regrets are pains of the memory

There are worse things I could do,
Than go with a boy or two..
Even though you might think it's no good,
I suppose it could be true..
But there are worse things I could do
I could hurt someone like me,Out of spite or jealousy
I don't steal and I don't lie,
But I can feel and I can cry
A fact I'll bet you never knew
But to cry in front of you,
That's the worst thing I could do!!!

Moving today.. Help needed!!!

You know how they say a good sleep is necessary for your health, skin, hair and everything? If people around you know that, consider yourself lucky!!! Cuz my sisters don't believe in this kinda crap!!!!

So 8 in the morning the first one called cuz his son had slept over here and she needed me to get him ready by 8:30.. Being an aunt is not an easy task!!! I mean you just can't say excuse me I slept at 4 in the morning.. what about my skin, hair and the rest!!! All you have to say is:"sure sweetie, no problem!!!"

By 9:30 I was totally sleepless was making my cover letter to send to this company in Vancouver (Yup one of those times that I have to be anywhere but here again) when my other sister called... So I thought it's one of those sweet morning calls that you just make to see how everyone's doing and let them know you love them..

WRONG!

She was totally breathless and I was scared to death if everyone's OK.. In between that breathless speech with lots of unfinished words and sentences I could get some words like Tuesday.. Moving.. My house.. The garage..

Having faith in my sister and knowing she's not insane I tried to calm her down to see if her house is on fire!!!! Anywaysss long story short she was trying to remind me that our closing date is this coming Tuesday and I really don't wanna get into details how hard it's gonna be cuz basically for 3 weeks we're gonna be homeless (special thanks to my brother and my realtor!!!!) and until then we're gonna stay at my sister's..

Anyways the more I was trying to calm her down the more freaked out she was.. And then she started telling me how we can't count on her husband cuz he's injured his hand and that we should go to her place this afternoon to make some place in her garage.. That's when I told her ummm I can't come this evening I have French class.. You know those 3 second pauses that you know somebody's gonna get hurt??!! It didn't last that much!!! In less than 2 seconds she basically exploded and I think (not sure if that's what she was trying to say tho.. It's not easy to comprehend her when she's yelling) that she was telling me that I shouldn't go to that class when I have so many things to do!!!!

It's 10:40 now.. My cover letter is undone.. My sister has a possible upcoming heart attack.. and I've sat here writing:

Moving today.. Macho, strong man needed bad.. Being Hot is not required but definitely is an asset!!!! Call 647-668-...

Making a Wish!

"If an angel asks me what's your biggest wish I would say that I wish I could eat as much as I want without being worry about my body and weight!!!!"
That's my best friedn's biggest wish!!!! I was like you sure that's what you want? You can ask for money and do all kind of surgeries to stay fit and beautiful but like a determined lady who's given it lots of thoughts she just shook her head and said Nope that's what I want.. I wanna stay slim no matter what!!!!
And it made me wonder what if there was a Jinni in a Bottle??!! What if she was there to make one of your wishes come true?! What would you wish for??!! Happinness? Health? Eternal Love?
I would wish there were no endings for good things cuz I can't stop wondring why:
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end!!!

تقدیم به لطافت انوشکا :) و

فهمیدن عشق را چه مشکل کردند

ما را ز درون خویش غافل کردند

هیچ کس به فکر ماهیها نیست

سهراب بیا که آب را گل کردند

CAN'T WRITE!!!!

The Great Pleasure in Life is Doing What People Say You Cannot Do!!!

And one of the worst feeling's simply things everyone thinks you can do and you can't!!! Like finding a good job!!! I think I'm on the verge of breaking down!!! I know I've never worked but at least I had school to be busy with.. Now I have no excuse!!!! Honestly I don't think not finding a job is my fault tho:

Those jobs that I like, the interviwers don't like me and vice-versa!

And I just wanna ask one of those nasty, arrogant interviewers if they had ever been where I am now when they were young!!!!!

I'm pretty sure they all were.. They exactly know what a horrible feeling the whole process is.. And I believe all the hardness they had to take has simply turned into a big hatred complex and that's how they become this cruel, ruthless creatures!!!! I'm telling you these are the people that make a dent in your car just cuz your car is fancy!!!!!!!

They've forgotten those freaking days!!!! It's like our moms, when we were teenagers and how sometimes they were too strict with us and we couldn't stop wondering if they remembered how it felt to be a teenager!! My best friend and I promised each other to keep a journal and write those days just to make sure we won't forget.. well we never did but promised we'll remind each other..

I think it's time to remind those interviewers as well.. I have a job interview on Wednesday.. Instead of talking about my past experience I'm gonna talk about the dude's past.. Maybe it helps!!!!!

A Few Words With You!

Dear readers,

I'm really disappointed in you guys:

A year ago a girl committed a suicide. I don't know the girl and I don't know why she killed herself.. Apparently the girl had a weblog, which I've never read it but I read a comment from a guy that I didn't know either about the girl and he was like how come nobody noticed how depressed the girl was and how he didn't know the girl but from her weblog he could simply say she was anything but happy and he was surprised why people around her did nothing to help her feel better!!!!

Why I'm sharing this with you guys?? Cuz you could tell from my weblog that I was sad (for a wholeee week) and none of you cared enough to cheer me up? Weren't you afraid that I'll end up killing myself?? Do you know what a huge responsibility you all have to make sure I live long cuz you all know this world needs me???!!!!

I'm sorry to tell you this.. But you all failed.. You know why I never advertised for my weblog anywhere? Cuz I thought I have the best readers ever.. But if you don't care about my happiness, health and life in general, I need to find some caring enthusiastic readers and it just hurts!!!!!!

You Know that We Are Living in a Material World!!!!

Everyone has a friend who has nothing in this world and then one day a father's uncle's nephew of an aunt's neighbor dies..Coincidentally he/she was very rich and for 2 main reasons that are: 1) didn't have anyone and 2) was your friend's big fan he's given away all the money to your friend! We all know at least one person who's got rich like this, right?
So very secretly I made a list of far/old/rich/lonely relatives who I could count on.. After down sizing several times I came up with number 0!!!!
The number just broke my heart.. But then last month something happened maybe just to remind me never lose your hope!!! We wanted to sell our condo and you know who we did sell it to? An old lady that can hardly walk and talk!!!! I still don't know what the hell she needs this place for!! Anywayss when you wanna buy the place you bring your people to show them the place. right? She brought her friend.. someone who was soooo old that I can swear to god she's in this world illegally.. I'm serious the Death Angel can't find her for some reasons! So 2 very old ladies were thinking if she should get the place and she did it!!!
I'm not sure if you've got my point.. A rich/old/lonely lady bought our place!!! She could be the one..
So for a whole month I was living happily knowing I wasn't just a dreamer.. It was happening!
Make a long story short you know how when they buy a place they are allowed to check out the place several times? last night was her first time.. So I made her a hot chocolate to be a daughter she never had!!!
WRONG!!!! She came with 12 other people including her children, grand children and a sister and from what they were saying I realized one of the grandchildren is living with her!!! Little gold digger brat!!!!
I think I should accept it that I can never be that friend that other friends talk about and refer to as a lucky bastard!!!!!! Now I have no other choice but robbing a bank!!!
No other choice.. You understand No0000 Otherrrrrr Choiceeeeee!!!

Violence is One of the Most Fun Things to Watch!!!! (To Watch Not to DO!!!!!)

When they ask you what was your best day ever it's really hard to answer unless you've got married and you say your wedding day..Or the day you've give birth to a little kid.. But before huge things like that it's not easy to say when was the best day of your life!

But when it comes to worst days even without thinking you can say when was that.. Or at least I can say cuz it was yesterday and it's hard to forget..

So the whole thing started two days ago when I was on the phone and my brother asked me if we're going to "Paintball" with them.. You go to Wasaga beach.. You play, You swim, You get tanned..Who would say no to a whole fun day??!!

Our all inclusive fun day was yesterday.. I don't wanna get into details about how cold and rainy it was AGAIN cuz the whole weather thingy is getting boring.. I'm just mentioning it here to tell you our swimming, tanning, and other beach fun stuffs never happened cuz of the weather!!!!! Anyways we got there.. They gave each of us a coat, a mask and a gun! So I was like niceee looks like a war! We had to wait till the next game starts.. Meanwhile we could watch those who were playing!!!! OOHHHH My Goodness.. It didn't look like a war it was a war!!!!! The sounds were loud enough to freak you out!!!!

So by then I already felt kinda bad, I could hear my heart pounding and could feel my palms sweating.. So we went to the field and since I was so nervous I wasn't really listening to our leader that was telling us we should run to one side of the room and start shooting those who went to the other side of the room!!!! I just realized every one's running.. So like a sheep that has no other choice but following others I just followed my boy friend.. We found something to hide behind it.. The whole point was to kill people in front of you.. And by that I mean really killing them.. Those paint balls were soooo pain full.. I'm telling you they were not paint balls they were pure PAIN balls!!!!

After the first game I was so frightened and in pain that was just like I'm not gonna play anymore!!!! But my friends made me go back in there with saying:" You should get back in there and take revenge!!!!!!" As idiot as I am, I went in that hell one more time.. This time when I heard the whistle I ran so fast to get to the biggest thing I could hide behind and I sat there trying to find a way to run away!!! The only way to get out was to rise your gun.. It meant you've got shot and you have to get out of the game! But the thing was that while you had your gun in the air and was walking through the door people would still shoot you cuz they find it fun to see you jumping up and down while going out!!!!!!!

That was my last game.. For the rest of the day I was watching other guys playing and I couldn't help it thinking how people feel in real wars!!!! It's gonna be as scary as hell and gush pain full!

Anyways the result was a huge bruise on my knee, a bump on my finger and a broken heart of wasting my Saturday!!!!

I was telling my friends it was the worst kinda fun I could ever think of.. Before that I always thought skiing is the worst.. You know skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face but you go since everyone else is going and you just don't wanna feel left out!!! Thanks to god not so many people are big fan of this Paintball thingy and I don't need to force myself going there cuz everyone else is going!!!!

عادت شده یار مرا شیرینی بعد خواب ناز
ممنوع کردم بوسه را ترسم گرفتارش کند

خواهد که مهمانش کنم لبخندی از شهد لبم
دل میزند شیرینیش ترسم که آزارش کند

وقتست بداند هر چه او خواهد نباشد کام او
افسوس و ناکامی دل شاید که هشیارش کند

صد بار او را گفته ام از برگ گل نازکترم
باید نظر در گفته و رفتارو کردارش کند

ورنه به خواب بیند او گرمای آغوش مرا
سردی آه حسرتش ترسم که بیمارش کند

اشکم در آورده شبی خواهم که جبرانش کنم
باشد هوای پیکرم بر گریه وادارش کند

گفتم که عمری نام تو شه بیت اشعارم شده
شعری سروده تا مرا بانوی اشعارش کند

خواهد که در طرف چمن شاهد بگیرد نسترن
حلقه در انگشت و مرا یک عمر گرفتارش کند

باید نظر در گفته و رفتارو کردارش کند

Only Time!!!

I'm just so Tired of this Game..

Game of Arrow and Heart..

Gonna Give Away my Heart.

let Other Girls Play!!!

گفتمش دل ميخري؟

پرسيد چند؟

گفتمش دل مال تو،تنها بخند

خنده کرد و دل ز دستانم ربود

تا به خود باز آمدم او رفته بود

دل ز دستش روي خاک افتاده بود

جاي پايش روي دل جا مانده بود

When Angry, Count to four; When Very Angry, Swear!!!

There's someone inside you.. But you really don't care cuz you don't hear her.. But once in a while she wakes up and you feel she's restless.. She wants something but you don't get it.. and it makes you upset.. you know something's wrong but can't put your finger on it.. You need to be alone.. To talk to her.. To figure out the problem!!! You don't know how long it would take.. A day? A week? But you really don't mind.. you have to give it time to be happy again.. to feel the warmth in your blood.. To be able to laugh at jokes, mistakes, yourself,even life!!! And you need to do that not only for you..You owe it to people who are involved with you..
You can't get any help form outside..It's something between you and you..
All you need is time.. Is to be alone.. But people Hearing without Listening.. Or maybe it's just too much to ask for!!! What they do is they make the angry lady inside you fill you in and becomes you. And that's what you were fighting so hard not to happen: Preventing an upset lady to turn into an angry one!
Watch out people.. Watch ouuuutttt!!!

Sand Drawing/ Paintjam

دستخطي کـه تـو را عاشـق کرد,, شوخـيِ کاغــذي ماسـت، بخند

Some Go to Cottage to Read and Relax.. We Say Fuck Em We're Here to Drink and Have FUN!!!

It was the sign on the entrance of our cottage we went to last weekend.. I haven't put the pic to show off what a heaven we were in.. I just wanted to show you how much fun we could have but we didn't because of the weather!!!! I mean I don't get it! Why is it always like this?? Sunny and Hot weekdays, Rainy and Cold weekends!!!!!

This time was no exception: The whole week it was Sunny and Hot.. On Saturday it started raining and got cold.!!!! And Guess what??!! On Monday that we were leaving it all got sunny again!!

You know when you joke around with a friend which makes you laugh so hard but your friend hates the joke??

I swear to god I could feel god was laughing somewhere up there cuz he thought it's funny to make it rain as soon as we all were in our bathing suits and were going canoeing!!!

Dear people, when you wanna choose somewhere to live go with the good weather.. You can find job, nice houses, cool cars, fun people everywhere.. But a good weather is a must and veryyyyy rare!!!

God Couldn't be Everywhere.. So He Created Moms!!!

Whenever we wanna give an example to proof the existence of god we talk about women who give birth.. How suddenly they have milk, how the "unconditional love" all start having meaning..

What we never talk about is the sense they get as soon as the kid gets out! It's not one of the 5 senses and not a 6th sense.. It is called a "Mom's sense" and with that they EXACTLY know when your lying, when you're upset, when you're hiding something and every other thing.. You name it..

First you just can't believe it that she KNOWS.. Then it starts going on your nerves and freaks you out.. and finally you start accepting it.. Trust me you have no other choice!

When I was a kid I used to think of all the ways to find out how she does it.. Having cameras everywhere that I go??!! Hiring people to spy on me??!! Chasing after me all the time??!! You know stuffs like that! Then I realized it's not just me and my mom.. Every single kid that I knew had the same problem.. And I was old enough to know there are not enough cameras/people/time out there to be at our moms' service!!!!

Soooo after years of close examining, researching, studying and hard work I finally found the answer:

You know what car rental companies do to know where their cars are all the time? They put a GPS device in the car.. No matter where the car is unless it's underground the device can tell them where the car exactly is..When we're born something like a GPS starts growing in us and our Moms have the ability to track us down physically, emotionally even financially!!! It's something between god and them.. The privilege that only Moms can have..

My mom's really far from me.. Let's say 2 oceans, 1 or 2 continents and lots of countries are between us and as soon as I say hi to her on the phone she knows what's going on!! Isn't that amazing?

Just imagine we'd have this sense/power/incredibility whatever the name is with our guys!! Dear lord..Dear lord!!! Wish you had a lil more sense of humour and would give it to us as soon as we hook up with the guy.. What a fun world it could be and we're missing it big time!!!!! ;)

Scratch most feminists and underneath there is a woman who longs to be a sex object, the difference is that is not all she longs to be!!!

The coolest thing about being graduated is that you say to yourself: "I'm done!!!"
But when you think about it you simply don't know done with what??!!
The more you think about it the scarier it gets.. What do i wanna do? Who am i wanna be?? And the shitty part's that no one can really help you.. You have to figure it out yourself!!!
And that's when you are introduced to the whole world of "resume and sending it away.. Not hearing back.. keeping positive attitude and sending more like there's no tomorrow!!!!"
Gushhhh help me survive!!!!!!!!
Feminist people I was trying to be nice but can't keep it to myself anymore.. I hate you!!! seriously I do..
Why?? Cuz you've ruined my life!
How??!! My feminist friends you are the reason that world expect us women to study and work just to show guys we are "equal"!!!!!!!
I mean why you women care so much about what they think of you????? Like do you really think that guys care if we think of them as jack asses??!!!!!
you know how much happier we could be if all we needed to be worry about was our make ups, hair, nail, skin and other fun/healthy stuffs???
I know they're worthless but accept it we all love it.. Even guys have started liking it.. I put make up on my guy friend this weekend cuz he wanted to look "pretty"!!!!!
I swear to god men and women are replacing each other..While women work hard and don't find the time for themselves you find guys at gyms working out, in beauty salons shaping their eyebrows, in parties gossiping about others and giving comments about each other's hair, dress and other girly matters lol
You wanna be equal?? I'm telling you, you don't need to change.. they are doing their best to reach you!!!!
I wish I had written this one sooner maybe I could have helped the world!!!! Help??!! Save the world!!!
But seriously now that you know you've ruined my life at least make it up to me by finding me a good, well-respected job with lots of money and chocolate ice cream!!!!
Thank you:)

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Yesterday I found a white hair in my well hair!!!!!!! Not totally white.. Half white, half black.. It means it's just started and it made me wonder.. You know how you're planning for the future and you have some deadlines for yourself? My deadline's always "when I grow up" and then this white thingy made me think.. Maybe I am a grown up!!!! Maybe it's the deadline!! If it's so I really need to rush.. Since I was a kid I've promised myself to do this, do that when I grow up and when years ago I received this "25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP" email I felt so relaxed cuz I knew I've tons of years till then.. You all know the signs:

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those f...king kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?

Seeeeee I'm not even close to that term yet! But a stupid white hair has changed everything!!

I went out of town to get rid of all the things that are bothering me these days for a weekend and came back as a grown up lady!!!! Not sure if I'm ready for that.. Not sure if you are ready for that.. Not sure if my whole definition that "grown up" means "boring and a lil scary" is right! Anyways we'll give it a shot! If we didn't like it we switch back to where we were;)

O Canada!!!

Finally it's done.. Yesterday I got the Canadian Citizenship and according to the judge it's the most wanted honor one could ask for..

Before the ceremony begins, this lady started talking to tell us what we should do when the judge enters and stuffs.. and she was sooooo excited like it was her kid's wedding.. An by the end of the ceremony I realized why she's so enthusiastic about the whole boring ceremony..

That's her exact words:

" This ceremony is like a marriage!!!! You take your oath to be loyal to this country and that's what we do when we get married.. We take our oath to be loyal to each other!!!!!!!!"

To sum up yesterday, which coincidentally was the first day of summer I got married to Canada.. Instead of asking for my parents permission I got Queen Elizabeth's blessing!!!!!

Yup I got married to a country that when you wanna take an oath you borrow some other country's Queen!!! I got married to a country that only 3 months a year has sun and warmth and even thinking of the summer for the rest of the year sounds ridiculous!!! I married to a country that when you sit in a bus or train you don't hear anyone speaks English.. It's all Chinese, Persian, Indian, Arabic, Some Europeans..But no English!!

I married to a country that it's last name is Ice land! A country with no history and no nothing.. A country that all of it's people are immigrants and we refer to those 1% that are originally from here as polar bears!!!!!! An Independent country which would fade away as soon as US and England stop supporting it!!!

But hey it's a free country after all and that's why we all are here and that's why according to the judge we should proudly say we are Canadians!!!!! ;)

I Hate It When...

I hate it when people ask each other How they're doing and pass by without hearing the response.. I hate it when people give each other negative/ugly comments just to look funny.. I hate it when people act like they like some one but as soon as she leaves start talking behind her back.. I hate it when people are just dreamers when you see no actions.. I hate it when a friend is upset and you can't do anything about it cuz you're the reason he's upset..

I hate it when people misunderstand the term "forgiving" with "forgetting". I hate it when people expect me to stay calm when I'm on the verge of explosion..

I hate it when people act like they don't know me juts cuz we're out of touch for a while and I hate it more when people who don't really know me act like they do!!!

I hate it when I have to smile when all I wanna do is to cry!! and I hate it when I have to say everyhting's cool when in reality it is not!!!

I hate it when people expect you to be there for them but when you need them they're anywhere but here!!! I hate it when an old friend e-mails me all she talks about is nagging why I don't write anymore and still doesn't say 1 word about how are things with her.. I hate it when people give each other a hand just when they need a favor from one another.. I hate it when people don't keep their word.. I hate it when people judge each other when they really don't know what's going on..

I hate it that we live in a century that people don't give value to honesty, kindness and love.. I hate it when people keep forgetting that sometimes being kind is more important than being right.. And I hate it when I forget it myself and have to write about it to remind it to myself !!!!

Life is Not about Waiting for the Storm to Pass...

It's about Learning How to Dance in the Rain!

My Boy Friend's Hero!!!!!!

Everyone has a hero.. It's just a non-written must in every one's life to have a hero in his/her life.. And I think when you don't have one you just try to find someone weird just to let the world know you are "UNIQUE"!
When we are kids our heroes are our parents, older sisters/brothers or close relatives.. Then we grow up and we realize there are more people than our close ones in this world and we start betraying our parents by switching our heroes from them to our favourite cartoon characters! For such a long time Joe in Little Women was my hero.. She was everything I wanted to be..She was funny, creative, ambitious, everything.. I juts loved her..
But then we grow older and we are introduced to the life of "reality" and we start understanding that it's just waayyy far from fictions and fairy tales.. We have to make an adjustment.. It's no more easy to announce Superman as our hero! So we start finding real people (although deep down in our hearts we still worship our real heroes.. i.e. Superman, Batman, Rocky, Zorro and of course Joe!)
It's been a while since Oriana Falachi's been my hero:
An iconoclastic journalist known for her war coverage and for aggressive, revealing interviews with powerful people!
On the other hand, my guy's hero is Dr. Mahmood Ahmadinejad:
An idiot president known for his retardish opinions and aggressive, revealing theories of wiping off other countries!
The more I think about it, the more I come to this conclusion that Opposites Do Attract..:)

When Everyhting Goes Wrong!!!

Yesterday was my first day of being super productive.. Woke up early to go out cycling with a friend to start our day fresh..
It was rainy but we were like nothing's gonna stop us.. So we went to this park which has lots of small wooden bridges.. On one of those cute bridges I felt I'm speeding too much.. So thought it's not a bad idea to slow down cuz I didn't want to fall down! As soon as I grabbed that brake handle thingy my bike slid off and the next thing I remember was that I, like those cool professional break dancers, was spinning on the asphalt road.. I don't wanna get into details about what has happened to my poor knees but sounds like no more skirts for quite a while!
Then I had to go to this job agency, or at least that's what I thought about them! Wasted 4 hours of my precious time to figure out they don't find you a job they find "How to Write Resume" classes for you!
I called my sister who's going to Iran for couple of months in a week to see when i could see her.. And still don't know what happened that she convinced (made is quite bossy and I never ever let the world knows what a bossy sister I have) me to go there and make everyone food Anddd to make everyone happy she called my other sister and invite them over as well!
I mean I love being around them just don't get it how I ended up cooking for 9 people!
Finally I went home to get ready to go to my friend's to practice for the drawing class we've enrolled.. My brother needed the car and basically I had to wait for one of the girls to give me a ride back home.. But she was sooooo excited about our practice session that didn't leave till 1:00 am!
Finally got home and gush I was tired!
To make my fun day complete, at 5 in the morning the fire alarm started beeping.. And I still don't know WHY it should always be early in the morning for those freaking devices to beep.. It always should be somewhere between 3-7 am.. ALWAYSSSS!
Anyways when I woke up this morning I realized I cannot move any part of my body since the whole body aches!
I'm telling you some people are not born to be productive, they're here to be fun, sexy and beautiful :)

Sad But True!!

Page one is a diet, page two is a chocolate cake. It's a no-win situation!!

Last week my sister was here.. And I hate it when people don't have anything to say they start giving each other comments!
Dear people please listen to this advice, always and by that I mean ALWAYS talk about the weather in this kinda situation.. it's boring but a really really safe subject to talk about!
Anyhowwww as I was saying, after looking around she stopped on me, stared at me for like 10 seconds and said: "Hey! Have you noticed you're turning into a pear!”
And the second thing that I hate is when someone says something they “THINK” is funny but in reality it’s NOTT and they keep going on and on about it! And apparently according to my sister I’m getting fat! And I’m starting looking like a pear!
Soooo I decided to start a diet for the first time in my life and I totally agree with this saying that probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet! I mean what if I start it and by the end of the second week I realize that all I've actually lost was those two weeks?!
“I highly recommend worrying. It is much more effective than dieting.” And if you think about it you agree with me:
When you’re worried, you are stressed out but your brain’s functioning and helps you getting you out of depression meanwhile you lose your appetite and you lose weight! WHEREAS the idea of not having coke, chocolates and yummy foods may help you look more attractive but who likes a depressed, grumpy, truly sad girl?! (It’s up to you guys you want the depressed unhappy slim me OR fun happy fat me?!)
I really believe that people should have balance in their life:
And the balanced diet is a cookie in each hand :)
Have a wonderful veggie day!

"Love is an Irresistible Desire to be Irresistibly Desired."

دلخوش به فانوسم مکن اينجا مگر خورشيد نيست؟

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

We do that to our family, to our friends, to random people without really thinking what we mean by asking for their forgiveness..
I'd been thinking about it and I did have this problem with one of my so-called special people.. You know when you look back to see what went wrong and why and stuffs.. And I realized sometimes when people just ask for your forgiveness it's not cuz they mean it.. It's just that they wanna stop the whole fight.. And what can you say when someone tells you he/she is sorry??!! You can't say I can't forgive you! cuz that's the end of the friendship.. You can't act like everyhting's cool Cuz then you can't go on and talk about what has made you upset!!!
What happens is that you say it's ok but deep down you know it is not ok at all.. and then next thing happens and again you hear how he's sorry and again like you have no other choice you just say it's ok..
What the poor guy doesn't know is that he is playing with a TICKING BOMB and every single stupid apology that you hear gets him closer to your bad side! And then one day simply BOOM!! The bomb's exploded in the relationship and the damages are so high that you better just leave it as is and let go!
I know fights are terrible.. People say things that they don't mean them, people make each other angry and stuffs but after each fight there is a make up which makes the whole thing sweeter..
Next time say you're sorry when you really mean it.. You would see what a huge difference it makes..

دل ما رفته مهمانی به یک دریای طوفانی

به امیدی که ساحل داره این دریا

به امیدی که آروم میشه تا فردا

به امیدی که این دریا فقط شاه ماهی داره

به عشقی که نمیبینی شباشو بی ستاره

دل ما رفته مهمانی

به یک دریای طوفانی

باید پارو نزد وا داد

باید دل رو به دریا داد

خودش میبردت هرجا دلش خواست

به هرجا برد بدون ساحل همونجاست

How Can We Be So Different STILL Feel So Alike??!!

Thousand different types of people come in and out of your life..
Some of them, well, it takes time to get to know them and start liking/not liking them, some you just can’t stand from the beginning and then my favorite group comes:
Those you just feel it as soon as you see them.. You just talk to them on and on without noticing the time.. You realize you’re sharing your secrets with them without really knowing them well and without knowing why and you just enjoy being around them..
And the weird thing’s that most of the time you find them really different and then through those differences you find out your similarities.. And that's when a whole new journey begins..
And that's the beauty of life:)

If You Really Wanna Touch someone, Send Them a Letter!

I couldn't agree more.. I mean just imagine when you check the post, somewhere between all those nasty bills you have a mail from a special person.. Wouldn't it make your day?

Or when you check your e-mails in the pile of all those junk e-mails/forwards you have a real e-mail from a real friend.. It's just beautiful..

It is proven: Letters make people super happy.. But what if you can't read it?

It shouldn't be a bad hand writing for not being able reading it.. Some people have a really nice BUT unreadable hand writing..

I still think it's easier to deal with people with naturally bad hand writing.. They know they're bad and they try to make it readable.. But those nice-unreadables are simply encouraged to go on and write like this since everyone at the first glance says:"Woww very nice hand writing!!!!"

Anyways the result would be the same:

You have the letter and you're the happiest girl in the world.. you open it.. you try to read it.. first you're confused if it's "g" or "y" ..then kinda embarrassed that your friend was nice enough to write you and you cannot read it.. and finally you just leave it "as is" and pretend you've never got any mail!

And that's why whoever's invented e-mail deserves to go to heaven right away since he/she has solved many problems, has reduced many confusions and helped in getting rid of embarrassments..

!!! برگ از درخت خسته میشه وگرنه پاییز همش بهونس

You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do!!!

Isn't that amazing?? As soon as I'm done with all the exams it's finally sunny, warm and beautiful outside.. You know what it means?? It means that god still loves me..
I was starting getting worried that she's totally forgotten about me.. But sounds like she simply was busy with some other needy, demanding people!!!
I still truely believe that we do need more than one god..The number of people is growing (I don't even wanna start talking about sick (mentally/physically) people), the level of expectations are going higher, people are becoming more self centered and need more attention.. The list goes on and on.. Seeee only one god can't answer every singel of us!
Cuz personally I do need one for myself to help me out with people I'm dealing with!!!
I'm not sure if I'm a girl with no nerves whatsoever or the number of people who are marching, jumping, runing on my nerves are remarkebly increasing!!!

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask:" Where have I gone wrong! How do I always end up with this kinda people??!!" Then a voice says to me:" This is going to take more than one night!"

Ev ev ev everybody come on everybody..Shake it to the left now..Shake it to the right now..Ev ev ev everybody come on everybody..Keep dancing tonight!

Every single day that I woke up this week I felt like the world's smiling at me.. You know what a great feeling it is that you just feel happy and grateful for no reason? You just like things as they are..
My friend called me last night and we're going to this salsa dance class tomorrow..
And that made me think maybe I could take it seriously and become a professional dancer and stop being worried about what I should do..
But the problem's that: In today's world the word "professional dancer" is used for strippers.. I mean it's really funny, you see a girl, you start talking to her and she tells you how much she likes her job and how much she enjoys it and when you ask her what do you do.. She announces very proudly:"I'm a professional dancer... I dance with no clothes on!" Isn't that funny?? People are giving funny and surprisingly acceptable names to their professions.. Ask prostitutes..They never tell you :"I do have sex for money" they say they are "professional masseurs!"
I'm doing the same thing well not in a same level but still...When people ask me what do you do I just say I'm a "professional job seeker!"
I love playing with words.. It saves you from lots of situations, keep you away from embarrassment and gain you respect from others..
My sister was giving me some advice about a job interview I have this afternoon and it really hit me.. It's all about how you feel about yourself and how you make people think of you!

Just make every one think you're the best and soon you will be one ;)

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time!!!

Sometims it's fun to be around people with bad memories.. You never feel like Oh mmy God I have nothing to talk about!! you can tell them the same thing over and over again and they listen to you like you're telling them a first hand news!!

Like with my sister I can always tell her jokes (and the funny thing's that she laughs hard at those she found funny for the fisrt time and gives me same comments about those she didn't like when i told her first!).. And it's so cool Cuz when I talk to normal people most of the times they respond me back with: "Yeah you've told me that before!!!!" (Seriously guys I know I talk alot but giving me 5 more minutes to finish whatever I was saying is not such a pain, is it??!! So from now on please have some consideration and let me finish my story !)

But anyways this whole thing makes me wonder:

"Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we have told it to the same person??!!"

وحشت از عشق که نه ، ترس ما فاصله هاست
وحشت از قصه که نه ، ترس ما خاتمه هاست
ترس بيهوده نداريم ، صحبت از خاطره هاست
صحبت از کشتن نا خواسته عاطفه هاست
کوله باريست پر از هيچ که بر شانه ماست
گله از دست کسي نيست
مقصر دل ديوونه ماست

گویند مرا که بند بر پاش نهید

بیچاره دل است پای بر بند چه سود؟

The Picture Speaks for Itself!

You know when you're all down and tired and sleepy... and then you suddenly think of somehting that makes you forget about everyhting and just be happy??!!

I started my day like this.. Was really tired.. Kinda upset..Went to the class was totally bored and suddenly I remembered this is my last class FOREVERRRR!!! And I totally forgot all about how I felt and started feeling like a shiny happy girl:)

I think our nature is kinda helping us to just think about things that bother us.. But when you think about it you realize in life there are always so many things to be grafeul about.. For sure there are things in everyone's life that take them down... But if you look from the other side there are tons and tons of good things that are there to cheer you up.. Life has so many beautiful things to offer to you.. Just enjoy them.. Don't waste your time by letting things get into you!

Forgive But Don't Forget ... Just remember life goes on!!!

The stupidest thing I've ever heard is to forgive and forget... I understand why we should forgive cuz we're all humans and no body's perfect and that we all do mistakes and blah blah blah..

But forgetting??!! I mean if you forget how could you use it as your past experience??!!

Sometimes you wish you could forget.. Sometimes you wish things were different.. But the truth is that you learn alot about yourself in these kinda situations rather when everything's simply perfect..

So keep smiling. learn from your past, learn about yourself..

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men!!!

Ladies & Gents,
Break ups are for sure hard, absolutely heart breaking and perhaps need so much time to find the closure to move on BUT it's not the end of the world.. We all know it and when we get involved in a relationship we know what might happen and still we go for it.. So when it comes to the end don't act like this was the last thing you could expect and for god sakes never ever tell a person who breaks up with you that:"You'll never find anyone like me again!" I mean c'mon..they should hope not! If they don't want you, why would they want someone like you??!!
Next time when your partner threatened you that he/she would leave you, help him/her pack instead of balling your eyes out.. Maybe you lose them forever but you have kept your dignity, which after a while when thinking about the past doesn't hurt, it helps you smile and be proud of yourself and perhaps me because of my word of wisdom;)

نو بهار است در آن کوش که خوش دل باشی

Just too bad that "YOU" doesn't read this weblog!!!!

Please be gentle with me!
I'm a little delicate today..
Don't speak so loud
YESS!! I know it's self-included..
Just leave me alone for a while!!!

دوباره با تو

با تو دوباره من شدم
عاشق جان و تن شدم
با تو گل از گلم شکفت
با تو دوباره زن شدم

با تو جوانه زد همه
شاخه خشک پیکرم
از تو پر از ترانه شد
برگ سفید دفترم

با تو دوباره جون گرفت
هر چی که در من مرده بود
انگار پسم داد زندگی
هر چی امانت برده بود

با تو نگاه مات من
پر از گلهای ناز شد
گل لبان بسته ام
به شوق بوسه باز شد

با تو تمام خستگی
از تن من به در شده
درد غریبی کم کمک
مرده و بی اثر شده

با تو دوباره میرسم
به حد بی حساب زن
به اوج بخشش و غرور
به مرز عشق ناب زن

با تو درخت پر برم
با تو ز بیش بیشترم
از بهترینها بهترم
من با تو چیز دیگرم

We're gonna Miss You!!!

There were laughters, there were cries…
There were fights, there were make ups..
The weather changed and so did we..
We took different roads for our trip!
There were angers, there were relieves..
There are tons and tons of memories..
Your happiness is all we want
Cuz no matter where you are, you’re in our minds
It is so lame that I do rhyme..
But believe it or not it comes right form my heart;)

You’re gonna be missed..

Touched by an Angel!

I do believe in angels.. and I do believe god send us those angels when you need them the most just to remind you, you still can go on..
There are times the road you’re trudging seems all uphill.. When things go wrong and you want to smile but you have to sigh.. And then when you think things couldn't get worse, someone would show up and bright up your world!
Isn't that amazing? I mean when you look back you realize what I'm saying... Every single time when you're on the verge of giving up it's always someone there for you who shows you the way, who helps you to survive!
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit and look for the signs.. Somebody's reaching out for you!

سکوت از من چه می خواهی که من از نسل طوفانم
سرشت بابکی دارم اهورای دلیرانم
مزن این گونه بر زخمم درفش بی علاجی را
علاج درد بی درمان خود را خوب می دانم
اگر کردم ، اگر ترکم ، بلوچ و ترکمن یا لر
مگو اهل فلان هستی
که من فرزند ایرانم

When the Heart's Smiling...

Sundays are usually (fineeee ALWAYS!!) dull days...Sunday evenings are for sure the worst pain in the butt.. Now just imagine if you've had the nastiest headache the whole day on a Sunday!!!!
Not that I want your sympathy or anything just wanted to help you picturing me the whole day lying down in my bed thinking of things I could have done if I could find a way to get rid of this headache!!!
Turning on the TV.. Not a bad idea to stare at something else rather than my ceiling for a change!! My favorite channel’s on: The Weather Channel!!!! -2… And on Tuesday’s again -11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELLPPPP… Somebody! Anybody!!! We are freezing in here! And it’s getting serious!
Eid is coming in almost 2 weeks! Where are the blossoms??? Where is the famous spring breeze??!!
Wow it’s been 6 years since the last time I celebrate our new year back home! And Gush it was FUN!! Here you really don’t feel it any more! Neither the New Year nor the arrival of the spring! Well we’re living in the Ice Land.. What do you expect after all??
You need one of my word of wisdom?? There you go:
Try to keep your hearts warm.. Cuz no matter how cold you feel outside, if you are warm inside.. No freezing weather, no snow, not even the dull headachy Sundays can bring you down..
Think about it and start fresh tomorrow;)

اگر تمام شب را در حسرت از دست دادن خورشيد سر كني لذت ديدن ستاره ها را هم از دست مي دهي

When it is broken, Only a miracle can mend it!!!

When was the last time that you just said, 'What the hell!' and did something crazy??!!
The problem's that most of the times we misunderstand the term “doing something crazy” with “doing something really stupid”!!!!
And the biggest difference is when you do something stupid you may not realize it until the day after.. and OH My God the feeling you have when you wake up the next morning.. and when you remember you wish you hadn’t woken up at all!!!!
I wish there were no regrets in life, just lessons.. I think that's the art of living..
What I've learned form my past is that what breaks in a moment may take years to mend!! Well you know what they say! Every lesson has a price and I've paid quite enough to come to this conclusion that the thing you break may be like Crystals, you don’t realize how much you love it until it breaks!
I just hope I never forget it!!!

Somethings are Better Left Unsaid!!

Let's be realistic.. Sometimes we just wanna see others pay for what they've done to us or to people that we care about!
And even if we don't say it aloud we all know that we'd be living in a boring, perfect world if everybody wished everybody else well!!! Do I sound mean??!! Atleast I'm not boring;)
Sooo..
Here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell!!
And those "hellers" are lucky that I decided to leave some stuffs unsaid!!!

Hapy Valentine's Day Everyone!

I can’t help it.. No matter how I feel inside I just love this day.. It’s a celebration of love and I think the whole reason of us being alive is “to love and be loved!” Not that I just made that sentence I mean I totally agree with that! Lol
And it just breaks my heart when I see people who not only do not believe in this day (trust me I’ve seen a lot!!!) but also they make fun of it!!! And I’m just writing to let them know it is not a “freaking heart-shaped nightmare!!!” And calling Mr. Cupid a “weirdo” or thinking by “beating the crap out that weirdo” they actually cannot prevent falling in love!!! Anddd people who admire this day are for sure not some “loved-craze losers”!!!!!!!
C’mon look at it.. How can one don’t just adore this day??!!
When you go out, everywhere is just so RED, sexy and “hearty”!!!!
Candy hearts here, balloon hearts there.. Pink and red hearts everywhere.. Just BEAUtiful!
I’m pretty sure if Mr. Valentino was still alive he would have been impressed by all the decorations and effort that people (I mean normal happy people lol) put on this day!
Anyways I just wrote this to thank him.. Actually not him, the genius behind it who used Valentino’s death as an excuse to have a day like today!
Cheers to whoever he/she was!;)

سفره اي که پهن شد، اينبار خالي از دلتنگي بود...فقط بوي گلاب بود و گلهاي بي ريشه و درحال مرگ... بين آنهمه سکوت، مرور يک خط از قصه هاي تو براي گفتن تمام خاطراتم بس بود. راستش را بخواهی قصد ديدار، هرچه بود از نياز بود... به خداي بزرگ تو... و تو چه صادقانه هرچه مرهم داشتي، رو کردي وقتي ديدي از نشان دادن زخمهايم شرم دارم! حالا تمام غرور من از با تو بودن اين است که از پشت پنجره اي که تو باز کردي، گاهي خداي تو را ميبينم که ساده و صبور، آب و خاک و هوا را نوازش ميکند و تو آنطرفتر، درسايه يک درخت، آوازهاي خدا را زمزمه ميکني

when trouble melts like lemon drop..

Some people are naturally happy and positive like my cousin.. This girl doesn't know how to be sad and the way she deals with troubles is just awesome! And trust me I have TRIED to be like her, I just feel like it’s a given gift and you just can’t copy it from others…
Like those who are naturally talented in arts! No matter how hard you try to perform like them when the talent is not there, you won’t get any where.. Like my uncle and his violin!!!!
People choose different ways in dealing with their problems.. Some decide to be fighters and the rest pick the easier way, they’re flyers!!!
I’ve decided to be a fighter… It’s sometimes really hard but then the feeling you have when you tackle that trouble and solve it, is irreplaceable!
So it's up to you, you wanna be a fighter or a flyer!!! The choice is yours!!

"Change is good" or "Change for good"??!!

I need a change! Like a real, big, "oh my god" kind of a change!
The last time I asked for such a change was almost 5 years ago and that’s when we moved here to Canada and I remember how nights and days I’d been crying, balling my eyes out, remembering the past and feeling sorry for myself and my stupid wishes!!!! And that time I was like I’ve learned my lesson and I’ll be content with what I have!!!
Don’t know why I’m not always right lol Cuz I remember those days perfectly clear and again I’ve decided to move… Somewhere…Anywhere but here!!! C’mon look at the weather!!! This land’s not made for human being!!!
For now my final destination’s Australia! You should see the look on my mom’s face when I talk about my “new” dream tho!!!!!
I wanna have a life to live in different places every couple of years and then move to somewhere new…
And I can only do it now that I’m single and have no commitments or attachments whatsoever..
Not sure if you noticed what an optimistic girl I am and how I look at the bright side of being “single”!!!!!!
And think about it this way! You know what a wise and intellectual lady I’ll turned into after I’m done with all my traveling and how much stories I have to tell my kids??!!
With this I confront one of my biggest fears i.e. my kids won’t think they’re mom is boring!!!!!
By the way since none of the pictures I put on this blog are mine, I know I have no rights or anything towards them… But I would like or as French people say “Je voudrais” (not that I wanna show off or anyhting!!! it’s just that I had been studying French the whole day) anywaysss to put a copy right on this pic, cuz I’m gonna paint it and sell it.. I need money and I think selling my paintings is more practical than selling my hair!!!!

باز هم قلبی به پایم افتاد
باز هم چشمی به رویم خیره شد
باز هم در گیرودار یک نبرد
عشق من بر قلب سردی چیره شد

باز هم از چشمه لبهای من
تشنه ای سیراب شد سیراب شد
باز هم در بستر آغوش من
رهرویی در خواب شد در خواب شد

بر دو چشمش دیده میدوزم به ناز
خود نمیدانم چه می جویم در او
عاشقی دیوانه میخواهم که زود
بگذرد از جاه و مال و آبرو

او شراب بوسه میخواهد ز من
من چه گویم قلب پر امید را
او به فکر لذت و غافل که من
طالبم آن لذت جاوید را

من صفای عشق میخواهم از او
تا فنا سازم وجود خویش را
او تنی میخواهد از من آتشین
تا بسوزاند در او تشویش را

او به من میگوید ای آغوش گرم
مست نازم کن که من دیوانه ام
من به او میگویم ای نا آشنا
بگذر از من من تو را بیگانه ام

آه از این دل آه از این جام امید
عاقبت بشکست و کس رازش نخواند
چنگ شد در دست هر بیگانه ای
ای دریغا کس به آوازش نخواند

Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs!!!

Forgiveness is not an occasional art; it is a permanent attitude

It's hard to find people who will love you no matter what. I found five of them. My family!!!
When I look back at my relationships all I remember is our laughters and beautiful memories.. I mean that’s what everyone does, right?.. People simply tend to forget what hurts them, or at least that’s what I used to think.. But then there are people who can't forget and by all means do not forgive! I mean after weeks, months and even years every here and then they remind you hey do you still remember that you hurt me??!! And I just wanna ask how "if I do or don’t remember" affect their lives? It’s just sad.. and I just hate it about people when they have this forgiving gesture without really meaning it..
I mean if you still have problem talk about it, if you don’t or do but don’t wanna talk about it then act like it!
Ok I’m saying it all cuz last night I’d been accused of been scared of commitment and responsibility and that I play with people’s hearts and that when it comes to serious stuff that affect my life I like to go into a shell and let other’s make the easy decision for me!!!!!!! And well I don't mind people criticizing me, but I hate it when they judge me.. But we all judge don't we?? As Stanford said: “We all judge. That's our hobby. Some people do arts and crafts; we judge."
But the question's that why when someone compliments us we smile, thank them and simply forget. But when they criticize us, even if what they say doesn't make any sense, we still let it bother us for a long time??!!

به نام حضرت دوست که قبل از هر چیز زیبا نام اوست. به نام او و شاکر او که سبب آشناییمان لطف و رحمت اوست. و اگر تو دل آزردیی بدین آشنایی بدان که آذین زنده و سرخوش است به سبب آن
چه دشوار است صحبت از رفتن و نبودنت.. پس بگذار خاطره ی اولین سلام را به یاد آوریم که من هنوز رفتنت را باور ندارم. آمدنت را چلچله ها خبر دادند..آمدنت را گرمای دلم در سرمای دی خبر داد و رفتنت را نمیدانم

که آیا بی خبری دلیل بر رفتن همیشگیست؟
و آیا بیخبران همان فراموش شدگانند؟

سوگند به پیمانی که بستیم هنوز رفتنت را باور ندارم..چرا که تو خود گفتی آمده ام که بمانم..و زمانی که برای آخرین بار در کنارت قرار گرفتم نمیدانستم که این زمان دیگر تکرار نمیشود..نمیدانستم که رفتنت را بازگشتی نیست و باید به خدایت بسپارم برای همیشه..که من به حرمت عهد بینمان باز سلام دارم

و اکنون که جغدان شوم بر سر کویمان قرار گرفته اند دریافته ام که دیگر تو را بازگشتی نیست..آنان خبر آورده اند که با کاروان از دیار دل من گذشتی

خدا به همراهت

و این زمان زمان مرگ انتظار سبز است
پس به خدایت میسپارم که همچون مرغان عشق به پرواز در آمده و امیدوارم که رسم زندگی را بیاموزی از این پرنده های عاشق
که عشق به آدمی آدمیت بخشید
چرا آدمیت رفت و انسان جستوجویش نکرد؟
و چرا آدمیت مرد و انسان در فراق آن گریه نکرد؟؟؟

"Nature has no mercy at all. Nature says, "I'm going to snow. If you have on a bikini and no snowshoes, that's tough. I am going to snow anyway.""

Does everyone freak out when it comes to driving in snow??!! And when you go out and your toes get all numb cuz the watery, cold snow is all in your shoes...And when someone else's driving and they're trying to have fun by making the car slip on the snow?!! And the whole concept of being cold and everything??!! These make you freak out too, right??!! I mean it's not just me..
Whyyy god has made the snow??!! What's with this cold weather and come on what's wrong with those happy people who are just smiling for having snow??!! And now I don't know which one's more on my nerves.. The cold weather OR the happy people!!!!!
Come on, we don't need to be happy all the time and it is OK to say you don't like something sometimes!!!!!!
Always happy, always optimistic people: you exasperate me and please stop it!!!
It's not even a month since I wrote the "spring in winter" and you saw how happy and thankful I was and this is not fair!!!
You sleep and next morning you just see without any big announcement or anything the whole city is white, which makes you shiver even when you watch it from inside!!!
I wanna move to somewhere warm.. Somewhere to lye down on the hot stones under the sun, just like snakes, and think of snow flakes as a fiction!!!!!!

يادمان باشد اگر شاخه گلي را چيديم
وقت پرپر شدنش سوز و نوايي نکنيم

پر پروانه شکستن هنر انسان نيست
گر شکستيم ز غفلت من و مايي نکنيم

يادمان باشد سر سجاده عشق
جز براي دل محبوب دعايي نکنيم

يادمان باشد اگر خاطرمان تنها ماند
طلب عشق ز هر بي سرو پايي نکنيم

If it sounds too good to be true...

How many of you believe in fairy tales? In prince charming, white horse and the kiss that lasts forever?
Once someone said you know how all the romantic movies finish happily ever after? And how people keep wondering what if real life was like a movie? Actually it is.. They meet each other, fall in love, start a life together and then you see "The End". And no body tells you what happens behind the curtains: when they start getting to know each other, get into fight with each other, find out about their differences and so on.
Every one of us start a "too good to be true" relationship and by the end of the first month (sometimes even a week!!!) we just realize it is not!!!
The truth is that there is no fairy tale and for sure no soul mate... I mean I don’t think that people are destined to end up together. I think that we fall in love and work hard, some days realllyyyy hard, at our relationships.
And by the end of each relationship we just learn that life goes on with or without them..
I don't remember where I read it but just loved it:
"Think about fairy tales. What if Prince Charming had never shown up? Would Snow White have laid in that glass box forever? Or would she have gotten up, spit out the apple, gotten a job and a health care plan and moved on with her life?"
I go with the second one;)

Share your happiness with others today...

This is my today's fortune: Share my happiness with others and when you're sick and it's hard to breathe and as soon as you wanna talk it makes you cough, it's really not easy to think of happiness AND sharing it with others lol
But I'd been thinking, why people usually tend to share when they're down and sad?? I mean look at people's profiles on "hi5" , "orkut" or wherever and look at their "about me" part.. How many do you find that say "I'm very happy and I'm thankful for that"?? Instead we find like thousands of profiles about being betrayed, hearts that have been broken, love that is not there anymore annnddd so on!!!
Why when we're happy we just share it with some but when we're down we're just willing to let the whole world knows how sad we are deep down??!!
And now that it's my responsibility to make you guys happy today!!! let me tell you something: the more you talk about what makes you sad, the more you think about it and more depress you get..soooo just let go..
Life goes on and my smile stays on...The show must go on;)

Spring in Winter

It's winter.. as soon as you think of winter especially here in Canada, you think of snow, wind chills, red noses and ears and of course frozen people..
But not this year.. This year it's like spring and I'm just loving it:)
And have you ever noticed how people are more friendly in nice weather??!! If I were god I would have made everywhere like California without thinking twice about ski lovers..after all if there were no snow nobody would ever think of skiing, right?
If I were god...wowww... Honestly I think I could do a better job.. no offence to her tho. She's already been great, but you know no body's perfect!!! (and I still don't know what made me think I am!!!)
Maybe we need more than one god..we need gods and goddesses..as Carrie said in "sex and the city" plus one's the loneliest number after all!

Just a Little Prayer!

You're my balloon;)

I don't know where i read it that:"FRIENDS ARE LIKE BALOONS ONCE U LET THEM GO YOU CANT GET THEM BACK SO IM GOING TO TIE My FRIENDS TO MY HEART SO I NEVER LOOSE THEM."
I must have read it from the only reason that I breathe "ORKUT".
So perhaps this is gonna be my new year's resolution...I have some others but finally I found one to be able to share with others!!
So there you go, don't worry my red baloons, I have tied you up to my heart and won't let go...After all Why repeat the old Mistakes, if there are so many new Mistakes to commit? ;)
Happy new year all!

ز شیر شتر خوردن و سوسمار
عرب را به جایی رسیده ست کار
که تاج کیان را کند آرزو
تفو باد بر چرخ گردان، تفو