Monday, October 27, 2008
It Seems so Gloomy Out There, But It Shines Inside My Heart! It's Sometimes Completely Vis-a-Versa, Though!
I don't care what drug he was on, I wanna see leaves dance for me too.. You go to the store and very politely ask for a making-leaves-dance drug.. The whole point is to have a relax, thinking-free afternoon..
I think too much about things I don't wanna think about.. The sad part is that a part of me enjoys the suffer perhaps to support it that human being has been divided into two categories of Cruel Sadist and Heartbroken Masochist!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Have you ever thought of having a job with good money, lots of respect from others and not needing to do a lot for it?
I’d been thinking about it a lot and that’s why I’ve decided to become a PHILOSOPHER!!!
These people have the life that I idealize..
Just imagine you wake up in the morning, have your coffee ready, sit on the balcony, stare at horizon and when others ask you what you are doing, you give them one of those “can’t you see” looks and reply: “I’m working!!!”
Isn’t that fantastic??? We are in the 21st century and all everyone’s thinking about is working, working and more working..
And then there are these happy people that “think” they’re actually doing something.. And just imagine what a great feeling it is that you’re doing nothing and you don’t feel guilty about it!!!!I’m loving it!
It’s official! I’ll be a philosopher..
So those of you who keep asking me “did you get a job?” (Seriously can’t you think of something else to talk about??!! And yes I’m talking to you my dear “strong commenter”!!!!!!) anyways you’re answer is I am a self employed, well respected lady.. Soooo leave me alone and have a beautiful sunny day;)
Friday, July 18, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
These are the typicals that as soon as you see them you can categorize them but who the heck is this typical Persian girl that guys call us if we ask them to carry heavy stuffs for us or give us their seats when there's not enough seats for everyone.. Or if we cry if the movie ending's sad or get mad if we don't get the attention we want?
I really don't know who goes into this category, but from the tone and the look that comes with the phrase, I have a feeling it's not the nicest thing one could say to a girl.. And perhaps that's why we automatically get offended when someone dares to call us a typical Persian girl and of course obliged when they compliment us that we're not a typical Persian girl!
My favorite is when a guy friend told me he's read my weblog and he just doesn't get it why people would "waste" too much time on writing everything that comes to their mind! And after a deep look he gave me, he found the answer himself: "Hey if you have so much free time in hand why don't you go to the gym?!!" When he made sure that I'm not joking when I explained the reason I don't go to the gym is not cuz of lack of time, but simply cuz I don't like going to the gym, after a look of disbelief/disappointment on his face he mumbled "a typical Persian girl!" I normally argue about anything that I don't agree with.. The whole idea is either you convince me or I convince you.. But this time I just looked at him and changed the subject to something he could easily comprehend with that tiny-biny cell of brain god's put on his head by mistake and asked him if he liked his beer!
I've started thinking everything has an expiry date, so do friends.. That night I knew my friend's been expired for a quite a while!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Saturday, June 07, 2008
The first time I decided to be a "nun", I was 18!!! I was madly in love with this guy and the loser didn't love me back and I was so heart broken and everything and it was my first time being in love and thought to myself it's not worth it so decided to become a nun to avoid any more hassles!!! But like many other promises that I gave myself and couldn’t keep them, or simply cuz I knew guys need me more than god does, I kept postponing my engagement with god!
It was 10 years ago, but since then every now and then I still sometimes think of it as an option!
Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes they get you so high. Or maybe they are food: Sometimes simply delicious and yummy and sometimes smelly in a way that no matter how hungry you are you just pass.
Maybe they help bringing the best out of you, or making you look down at yourself. Maybe they make you cry with happiness and joy or make you cry with hurt and anger. And maybe they make you think you’re a princess or make you wish you were a nun!
There are tons of other maybe’s and for sure sometimes it is impossible to get them but the truth is that they are fun to be around and more importantly they can only do what you allow. And always remember: “It takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it takes only 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap them.”
Saturday, May 31, 2008
I'm not good with kids.. It's not a secret, even people that don't know me would know it as soon as they see me with a kid!
A couple of nights ago I watched this movie "No Reservation" and made me think.. Actually this was the second movie with the same concept.. that a sister dies and the other one should take care of the dead sister's kids!!!!!! And the thing's that the poor sister is not ready at all for this huge responsibility! I mean if she was, she would have one herself, right??!!
And then I started feeling cold and scared to death when I remembered I have 2 sisters with 3 kids!!!!!
Since it wasn't something that I felt comfortable talking about it face to face I decided to write it in here:
mmmm I don't know how to put it in words without sounding harsh.. Soooo first of all let me tell you how much I love you guys and how deeply I hope you guys live forever and ever but you know what they say: "shit happens!!!" So I'm just writing to ask you, actually to beg you:
1) If possible do not die!!!
2) If for any reason it happened please please plzzzz don't ruin my and those angel's lives by letting me take care of them.. I mean we already have to deal with you not being around anymore!!! So please don't make it harder for any of us!!!
Atoosa honey do you remember how you were so sick 3 years ago and I thought you have SARS and how I was beside your bed asking you not to die cuz I had no clue what to do with your kids??!! It's still the same..
I know I have to work on my "taking some responsibility" skills, but let me start by adopting some plants!!! If I was successful with that I might be ready to move on to the next stage: i.e having a fish..
Make it short it will take forever for me to be ready for taking care of some kids!!!
So I'm just writing to tell you, you really need to take care of yourselves, eat vegetable, sleep well, do some exercise anything you think might help to live longer cuz in case of emergency I'll be in Africa!!!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Another airport.. Another fake smile and a big failure not to cry.. Another holding tight not wanting to let go.. Another last minute stupid joke instead of begging not to go.. Another freaking Good-Bye!
I'm gonna miss your dumb jokes, the early morning wake up calls, your "don't worry we'll do something about it when you get home!", even our fights! And tho you won't believe me I'm gonna miss going nuts cuz of the way you drive and listening to your annoying intolerable music!
I'm gonna miss your comments, your cooking and the proud look on your face over the burned dish of a so-called food, your messiness, your craziness, your kindness, your incredible sense of humour, your attitude towards life, your silliness.. I'm gonna miss you!
I'd even miss your last-minute-looking for cellphone and wallet, ironing your shirt, checking your e-mails, paying the bills or your sudden urge of change into a new outfit right before we leave the house!
Come back soon, this place is so boring without you!
Thursday, May 08, 2008
I'm Lazy.. But It's the Lazy People Who Invented the Wheel and the Bicycle Because They Didn't Like Walking or Carrying Things
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Have I ever been in love? I think I was once, years ago when i was too young to understand what's going on!! I'd be lying if I say I don't miss that feeling.. You see, I wasn't only in love with the guy, I was in love with every single day of my life.. No matter how I felt or how bad my day was only a phone call from him and I was the shiniest girl in the globe!
When I compare myself to those days I can't help but wondering what has happened to that girl! I used to be emotional, nice and caring.. I used to love and be loved and be grateful for that.. I used to know what I want.. Most importantly I used to be a woman, when my heart was as hot as fire not as ice!!!
A friend of mine told me a couple of nights ago that he feels a part of him dies with every relationship that goes wrong! Is it only him or that's what happens to all of us??!! We give, we receive, we hurt, we get hurt, we go through emotional break downs, we "think" we've learned our lesson and feel stronger for the next one! What we don't know is that we're not getting stronger, we're making our guard around us thicker to protect ourselves from the unknown! From things that would hurt us again! So we can move on easier every time we're involved with a new person until it becomes a routine! First thing you don't like, you break it up and shout: "Next!"
How many "nexts" did I have, I simply don't know! There are many faces and names that fades out in time..
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I can't really tell if my boss (the main boss I mean, cuz everyone even our receptionist acts as my boss!!!!) likes me.. Last time he told me he's gonna get me a soup (I've started feeling old. The whole winter I was sick, coughing and complaining about the pain in my bones!!!) and when I asked him what kind of a soup he added that he's gonna surprise me!
((Why I always think surprises are good stuff??))
And now this accounting thingy.. I'm really not sure if he gave me more responsibilities cuz he thought I could do them or gave them to me to make me quiet for a while!!!!
This new year I asked god to give me something like a camel's hump, where I can save some energy.. So if I sleep well on weekend I can stay awake on weeknights!! Perhaps this way I wouldn't fall asleep for our new year next year and wouldn't feel this tired while I'm at work and could manage to smile when people keep talking about stuffs that I have no interest in..
This morning I saw this lady I barely know in our elevator, from the basement to 9th floor she told me the whole story of what a nasty Easter she had this year as she just found out her husband is cheating on her and how lucky I am for not having to live with a pig!!! I'm a good girl and listen to others advices.. the whole day I felt really happy for not having to live with a pig only falling for the pigs!!!!!!!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Since I was a kid whenever she wanted to make me do something she would simply sit on me and start tickling me.. For most of the people and Oxford dictionary tickle means to touch the body LIGHTLY so as to cause laughter or twitching movements. For my family that has her around it means feeling some irony sticks scratching your bones give you such a pain that makes you make funny noises, which she believes is the way we all laugh!!!
Her nickname is "hamechindaan" since she thinks she knows everything and her most reliable source is her husband!! I swear to god I can see her at nights lying down on her tummy in their bed, her hands under her chin, tangling her legs gently up and down and listening to her husband trying to memorize every single word to transfer to us the day after!!! And if we correct her about some of the info she just gives us one of those What-Do-You-Know looks and says: "Saeid says that!!!!!" like he's the top source of CNN News!!
Her early morning and late night calls are nothing but trouble, mostly regarding her kids.. Either she wants me to drop them off somewhere or pick them up from somewhere just cuz she can't say "No" to her children and it's really easy for her not taking any No's from me!!!
Joke around with her no matter what but say something about her age and say good-bye to life!!
When you're upset or mad at something don't get near her cuz she finds it funny to give comments that drives you crazy and still thinks her biggest mistake was that she didn't become a psychologist!
God bless those people's soul that she doesn't like, cuz she thinks her major responsibility is to show them she doesn't like them verbally, emotionally, non-verbally, body languagely everything!
She's one of the most generous people I've ever known but still has a special sensitivity over her belongings.. The last time we were at her house we had to leave our poker game unfinished because of a couple of Red Wine drops on her furniture!!! And when her daughter stepped on her "sabzeh" she was growing for "haft sin" she sat close to her plant and cried like she's saying goodbye to her kid!!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
عید هرگز نه فراموش می شود، نه گم اما این من فراموش شده است که باید به یاد آورده شود پیدا شود نو شود ...سال نو مبارک
Monday, February 25, 2008
You have your first coffee and remember coffee's had never helped you stay awake before.. So perhaps you need a second cup to see the miracle! Trying not to lose your faith you pour your 3rd cup and that's when you start feeling sick in your stomach!!! Now you're sleepy, feeling sick inside and are mad at yourself for keep forgetting coffee's never been the solution!!!
And then there's this lady who's our Corp Law Secretary but acts like her main responsibility is to supervise me!! I have quite a time with her.. I mean she even makes me laugh IF I'm in a good mood.. But Monday morning with a little headache, tired body, sleepy eyes and sick stomach I can't even stand myself.. And Gushhhh you need hell of a patience and a free spirit to be able to deal with her cuz she has a tendency of talking to herself at my desk, which makes me feel really uncomfortable cuz I've no clue how to react.. Like when she talks about her bills I don't know how to contribute cuz all that comes to my mind is to ask how much is her bill and it's rude to ask people you barely know how much they pay for their bills!!! And then as she's talking she walks away and yuppp still talking.. So I can hear her saying something just can't hear the words and I don't know should I follow her? Ignore her? Or simply just smile and do my thing? Annnddd the best part's our morning time when she grabs the Toronto Star and reads her horoscope for me.. I mean why on earth do I wanna know what's gonna happen to her everyday with her own comments and interpretations regarding each line she reads which usually relates to her mom, perhaps the only person who spends her time with her cuz well mother-to-daughter love is an unconditional love no matter what a weirdo creature you've handed over the world!!!
I'm telling you god's made her by end of the week when she was way too tired to think what she's doing!!!! Good job God! Gooood Job!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
I don't like the endings in general.. Like when a good movie, a nice vacation, a delicious food, a fun party, a sweet chocolate bar, the weekend, a good book, the last glass of wine, a sunny warm day, a good conversation, a dream, a kiss, a moment when you hold hands, a friendship or a relationship ends!!!
And it's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more!!!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The Weather Lady Felt Funny Today!! She said:"It's Snowing Still and Freezing BUT We Haven't Had an Earthquake Lately!!!!!"
But the truth is that 30 cm of snow has happened, roads are not passable and you can't do anything about it but wishing you were a bird not because of the incredible feeling you get of flying but to find a way to skip the crazy traffic, stressed out drivers and of course the sliding cars!!!!!
But living here makes you accept the fact that "snow is water, ice is water and water is water.. These three are one!!!"
This morning I felt really bad for HWY 403 cuz sounds like no one even knows it's existed.. After last night's heavy snow, this morning all the roads were clear but as soon as I turned into 403 I thought I've entered Alaska..No body had cared enough to remove the snow from the highway!!! And it wasn't just me.. Other drivers looked confused too!!!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
I was writing something totally different..it was deep and thoughtful I was almost done when my brother woke up and I just decided to leave my thoughtful, deep writing aside and start writing about my roommate..
I'm not sure how many of you watch Friends but if you do and if you know "Ross Gellar" then you know my brother..
He's one of the most special people in my life and although we are way too different and make fun of each other all the time, I still feel like his opinions have the most influence on me, although I act like they don't!
I usually wake up earlier than him and now that I'm listening to his music I know why... Those couple of hours in the morning that I have while he's sleeping are the only hours that I can relax and chill without being disturbed by the most annoying musics in the whole world! and the worst's that his lap top's broken and he uses the PC which is right behind my room and even if i don't wanna listen to his stuffs I have no other choice!
And god bless whoever introduced him to the music world, I have the same problem when we are in the car! And since it's our unwritten, unspoken commitment to be together wherever we go, it sounds like I should get used to it and I still don't know why/how I haven't yet!
Living with him is like an adventure,i.e wandering from one room to the other and cleaning up his mess and also dealing with "so-called" friends who he suddenly without an at least one day notice or anyhting finds intolerable and I, as the nice girl, should find ways to let them know why they're not welcome to our place anymore!
One of his favorite things to do is shopping...since he was a little kid he had his own language and it was others responsibilities to understand what he says.. For him shopping is going to a movie theatre! So never get fooled if he called you and asked you if you're up for shopping!
He loves you when you cook for him he'll give u a kiss on your chick, open the fridge and have a cold pizza and leaves! I think only the idea of having a warm, home made food satisfies him but deep down he just craves for junk food!
And you know how women are known for getting ready late??!!! OBJECTION!!! Some of you know how everytime I should wait for at least 20 minutes before he gets ready, and then another 10 minutes looking for his cellphone and wallet!
I told you living with him is interesting!
mmm if you were looking for a unique roommate call my cell..
love you bro;)
Sunday, February 10, 2008
And the worse is that I still have to go to work just cuz I've made up all these different kinda excuses for not going to work that this time the only reason for not goin to work is either quitting or calling in Dead!!!!!!!
Going back to sleep.. Please send me flowers and remind me I'm pretty.. Thanks!
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Nice and eligible excuse..mmm... That's for normal people I guess.. I just need an excuse.. and when I asked my brother to bring me ice cream and he didn't and it made me cry I knew I'll be the real definition of embarrassment in a very near future and just to my luck it happened right in the middle of my dad's birth day party!!!! First I broke the plate I had my appetizer in.. People started giving me those familiar looks that say:"Again??!!" Yeaahh I have a reputation of dropping down stuffs, breaking dishes and spilling drinks on the floor!!! I'm not sure if it was the broken dish, those odd looks or simply the not-feeling-good-lately thingy, which made me hide in the first place close to me, so people don't see me cry!!!! I had quite a time in that 20-25 minutes in the storage room.. Kept telling myself grown ups don't cry over a broken dish, which wasn't really a big help cuz made me get worse!!!
The second time I was dancing and I swear to god this time wasn't my fault someone pushed me and well my drink spilt on the carpet! Naturally I hadn't totally overcome my previous mistake when this one happened.. This time my shelter was the washroom.. To help myself feel better I looked into the mirror.. Cuz you know how girls look prettier when they cry in the movies?
Anyways as embarrassing as the whole thing was I cried enough.. Last night laughed enough about it with my friend Mr. Moody, who can be super fun or the most depressing guy on the whole globe and last night I had a pleasure to spend couple of hours with Mr. Fun and now I feel happy and light again!!!
So yeah that's my story.. I'm a cry girl and can't help it.. But well at least I don't have the incurable disease lots of the people I encounter with have: Stupidity!!! And I believe it's quite a relief!!!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Being trapped in one of the hardest decision making moments between falling back to sleep or getting up and taking a hot, relaxing bath I remembered my best friend's birthday was 2 weeks ago!! so I did what any good friend would do: Forgot all about going back to bed, headache, bleeding nose, hot and nice bath and instead I picked up the phone and called her to wish her a very happy belated birthday and let her know how much I love her!! But since people here spend their whole weekend talking to their friends/families in Iran it's really hard to have a good conversation with a good friend over the phone in a Sunday afternoon!!
I was explaining the whole thing to her and promising her I'll call her during the weekday when in one of the pauses I needed to breathe she found a second to tell me she has to tell me something quite urgent and very important before I go.. And then went on how she's gone to this psychic and the lady out of nowhere has told her that she's to tell me I shouldn't date a guy younger than me cuz I will end up marrying him and I'll get pregnant but before my baby boy turns 1 I'll get divorce!!!! (To sum up: My wife will be happy, my husband's very unhappy and I end up raising my baby boy alone!!!! That's quite messed up man!!!!)
A few words to guys younger than me:
Although I love you all but with a broken heart have to inform you that for the sake of my kid I only date older guys!!!I mean if one day I have a kid I want him has a happy family.. I'm brought up in a very happy, loving family and I turned out to be a commitment freak.. what's gonna happen to my poor,innocent kid that is a result of a very unhappy marriage??!!
A few words to guys older than me:
I love you guys even more than the younger ones.. I just need you to promise me if one day you married me and if we had a kid don't divorce me.. (Forget about the kid, don't divorce me in general and take me somewhere warm!!!!)