Monday, March 24, 2008

If God Hadn't Made Her, I would Have Ordered One!!!

My oldest sister,mother of 2, announced very proudly that her new year's resolution is to become selfish and stared at me like waiting for me to say: "Oooh Good for ya!!!" and since she's very physically strong I didn't dare to ask her why!!
Since I was a kid whenever she wanted to make me do something she would simply sit on me and start tickling me.. For most of the people and Oxford dictionary tickle means to touch the body LIGHTLY so as to cause laughter or twitching movements. For my family that has her around it means feeling some irony sticks scratching your bones give you such a pain that makes you make funny noises, which she believes is the way we all laugh!!!
Her nickname is "hamechindaan" since she thinks she knows everything and her most reliable source is her husband!! I swear to god I can see her at nights lying down on her tummy in their bed, her hands under her chin, tangling her legs gently up and down and listening to her husband trying to memorize every single word to transfer to us the day after!!! And if we correct her about some of the info she just gives us one of those What-Do-You-Know looks and says: "Saeid says that!!!!!" like he's the top source of CNN News!!
Her early morning and late night calls are nothing but trouble, mostly regarding her kids.. Either she wants me to drop them off somewhere or pick them up from somewhere just cuz she can't say "No" to her children and it's really easy for her not taking any No's from me!!!
I can't recall a moment when she's accepted she's made a mistake or perhaps has been wrong!!! I mean even when she asked my other sister if our friend's daughter is a retard and the mother heard her and got upset, she just got mad how dare someone eaves dropping her very private conversation right in the middle of the party at dinner table!!!! And when I asked her what would she's done if the lady had said the same thing about her son her explanation was that she would have got extremely offended just cuz her son does not look like a retard!!
Joke around with her no matter what but say something about her age and say good-bye to life!!
When you're upset or mad at something don't get near her cuz she finds it funny to give comments that drives you crazy and still thinks her biggest mistake was that she didn't become a psychologist!
God bless those people's soul that she doesn't like, cuz she thinks her major responsibility is to show them she doesn't like them verbally, emotionally, non-verbally, body languagely everything!
She's one of the most generous people I've ever known but still has a special sensitivity over her belongings.. The last time we were at her house we had to leave our poker game unfinished because of a couple of Red Wine drops on her furniture!!! And when her daughter stepped on her "sabzeh" she was growing for "haft sin" she sat close to her plant and cried like she's saying goodbye to her kid!!
She cries easily, laughs easier and loves the easiest.. She is a woman to love;)


amir said...

Attractive, Smart, Funny. Very rare! Single?;)

Azin said...

Only if you're attractive, smart, funny and not gay;)

amir said...

agar naboodam jesarat nemikardam;)