Tuesday, January 29, 2008

It's Time to be A Big Girl Now.. And Big Girls Don't Cry!!!!

Just when I thought I've cured my incurable disease of Crying I proved myself wrong!!!! I don't know what I expected, the name's on it: INCURABLE!!! And I knew it's coming just don't know why I didn't do something about it before making a total clown out of myself!!! I mean for some unknown reasons I wasn't feeling that great inside lately.. And the harder I tried not to show it outside, the downer I felt inside.. You know how you feel you wanna cry to cool down but find it stupid to cry over something you don't know? So you find a nice, eligible excuse to cry for..
Nice and eligible excuse..mmm... That's for normal people I guess.. I just need an excuse.. and when I asked my brother to bring me ice cream and he didn't and it made me cry I knew I'll be the real definition of embarrassment in a very near future and just to my luck it happened right in the middle of my dad's birth day party!!!! First I broke the plate I had my appetizer in.. People started giving me those familiar looks that say:"Again??!!" Yeaahh I have a reputation of dropping down stuffs, breaking dishes and spilling drinks on the floor!!! I'm not sure if it was the broken dish, those odd looks or simply the not-feeling-good-lately thingy, which made me hide in the first place close to me, so people don't see me cry!!!! I had quite a time in that 20-25 minutes in the storage room.. Kept telling myself grown ups don't cry over a broken dish, which wasn't really a big help cuz made me get worse!!!
The second time I was dancing and I swear to god this time wasn't my fault someone pushed me and well my drink spilt on the carpet! Naturally I hadn't totally overcome my previous mistake when this one happened.. This time my shelter was the washroom.. To help myself feel better I looked into the mirror.. Cuz you know how girls look prettier when they cry in the movies?
Let me tell you something really really important: Hollywood movies are nothing but none sense.. They make you think life's beautiful.. And that you'll never end up being lonely cuz in the very last minute the guy shows up in the airport, or by your house, or finds you in your secret place!!!! And they make you think if you cry your eyes get shinier and more beautiful, and when you wake up in the morning you're just like a super star!!! Yup I looked at myself just to see a very big red nose, 2 very small red eyes and crooked lips!!!!
Anyways as embarrassing as the whole thing was I cried enough.. Last night laughed enough about it with my friend Mr. Moody, who can be super fun or the most depressing guy on the whole globe and last night I had a pleasure to spend couple of hours with Mr. Fun and now I feel happy and light again!!!
So yeah that's my story.. I'm a cry girl and can't help it.. But well at least I don't have the incurable disease lots of the people I encounter with have: Stupidity!!! And I believe it's quite a relief!!!

Monday, January 28, 2008

My Fortune!!!

My today's fortune is that me and my wife will be happy in our life together!!!
Having started my day with a hangover, watery/teary right eye and a bleeding nose, acting like nothing's wrong to avoid all types of future concerns and arguments regarding drinking too much, not sleeping too well, possible coming cancers and all other related stuffs with my parents, this fortune was exactly what I was looking for to feel better!!!!!
Being trapped in one of the hardest decision making moments between falling back to sleep or getting up and taking a hot, relaxing bath I remembered my best friend's birthday was 2 weeks ago!! so I did what any good friend would do: Forgot all about going back to bed, headache, bleeding nose, hot and nice bath and instead I picked up the phone and called her to wish her a very happy belated birthday and let her know how much I love her!! But since people here spend their whole weekend talking to their friends/families in Iran it's really hard to have a good conversation with a good friend over the phone in a Sunday afternoon!!
I was explaining the whole thing to her and promising her I'll call her during the weekday when in one of the pauses I needed to breathe she found a second to tell me she has to tell me something quite urgent and very important before I go.. And then went on how she's gone to this psychic and the lady out of nowhere has told her that she's to tell me I shouldn't date a guy younger than me cuz I will end up marrying him and I'll get pregnant but before my baby boy turns 1 I'll get divorce!!!! (To sum up: My wife will be happy, my husband's very unhappy and I end up raising my baby boy alone!!!! That's quite messed up man!!!!)
A few words to guys younger than me:
Although I love you all but with a broken heart have to inform you that for the sake of my kid I only date older guys!!!I mean if one day I have a kid I want him has a happy family.. I'm brought up in a very happy, loving family and I turned out to be a commitment freak.. what's gonna happen to my poor,innocent kid that is a result of a very unhappy marriage??!!
A few words to guys older than me:
I love you guys even more than the younger ones.. I just need you to promise me if one day you married me and if we had a kid don't divorce me.. (Forget about the kid, don't divorce me in general and take me somewhere warm!!!!)

Friday, January 25, 2008

She remembers when she gave him a plastic spoon she had saved from their first dinner out at a Chinese restaurant, then wonders aloud, "When is that moment in a relationship when a spoon becomes just a spoon?''

Monday, January 14, 2008

Fool Me Once Shame on YOU.. Fool Me Twice, Shame on ME!!!!

Dear liars:
Lying is bad and it makes you a bad person!!! It ruins the friendship, relationship, everything.. People lose their trust in you and it shows you don't have a strong personality and god knows nothing's sexier than power and strength for a guy!!
Above all if you lie you'll go to hell and a big, hairy, ugly monkey would jump up and down on your tongue!!!!!!
But it's like telling a smoker do not smoke cuz smoking is bad for your health and you'll get cancer!! Real smokers would never listen to you simply cuz they never think bad things gonna happen to them..
Now no matter how much I warn the liar community not to lie and inform them about its subsequents and everything they just won't listen to me..
So I'm just writing to ask you guys at least be a lil smarter and more creative and make sure not to insult our intelligence when you lie.. Cuz it's offensive, rude and disrespectful.. And it's disgusting and for sure you don't wanna be a sickening guy!!!
It's not too much to ask YOU right? But well sounds like YOU is too busy with nothing that basically has not time for anything even my words of wisdom and it's sad!!!!!!

Monday, January 07, 2008

You Can't Lose Something You Never Had..

And perhaps you shouldn't miss it.. I mean how can you miss something you never had??
Now why I still miss it so bad, perhaps is a question that my philosopher colleagues should find the answer for!!! Cuz I'm so freaking tired of all this missing and not having and questioning and not finding the answer and everything!!!!

Never Take a Job Where Winter Winds Can Blow Up Your Pants!!!

I wish I was a polar bear.. They're cute, strong, know how to fish and of course enjoy the cold weather.. In fact they only survive in cold.. So every morning when they open their eyes and see all the snow, freezing rain, 428 car accidents, red noses, ears and eyes, basically everything that makes you and me suffer, they smile and thank god for another beautiful day to live!!!! I mean if it's sunny, it's a bonus but if it's not not a big deal, no suicide no depression, no nothing!!!
This land's made for them not for cute, strong girls who don't know how to fish and for sure can't stand the cold like you and me!!!
The more I think about it the more I come to this conclusion that Santa's not real.. My wish list was either I become a polar bear or move to Florida! None of them happened!! And I won't write to him anymore!!!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

کنم هر شب دعایی کز دلم بیرون رود مهرت

ولی آهسته میگویم: خدایا بی اثر باشد