CAN'T WRITE!!!!

The Great Pleasure in Life is Doing What People Say You Cannot Do!!!

And one of the worst feeling's simply things everyone thinks you can do and you can't!!! Like finding a good job!!! I think I'm on the verge of breaking down!!! I know I've never worked but at least I had school to be busy with.. Now I have no excuse!!!! Honestly I don't think not finding a job is my fault tho:

Those jobs that I like, the interviwers don't like me and vice-versa!

And I just wanna ask one of those nasty, arrogant interviewers if they had ever been where I am now when they were young!!!!!

I'm pretty sure they all were.. They exactly know what a horrible feeling the whole process is.. And I believe all the hardness they had to take has simply turned into a big hatred complex and that's how they become this cruel, ruthless creatures!!!! I'm telling you these are the people that make a dent in your car just cuz your car is fancy!!!!!!!

They've forgotten those freaking days!!!! It's like our moms, when we were teenagers and how sometimes they were too strict with us and we couldn't stop wondering if they remembered how it felt to be a teenager!! My best friend and I promised each other to keep a journal and write those days just to make sure we won't forget.. well we never did but promised we'll remind each other..

I think it's time to remind those interviewers as well.. I have a job interview on Wednesday.. Instead of talking about my past experience I'm gonna talk about the dude's past.. Maybe it helps!!!!!

A Few Words With You!

Dear readers,

I'm really disappointed in you guys:

A year ago a girl committed a suicide. I don't know the girl and I don't know why she killed herself.. Apparently the girl had a weblog, which I've never read it but I read a comment from a guy that I didn't know either about the girl and he was like how come nobody noticed how depressed the girl was and how he didn't know the girl but from her weblog he could simply say she was anything but happy and he was surprised why people around her did nothing to help her feel better!!!!

Why I'm sharing this with you guys?? Cuz you could tell from my weblog that I was sad (for a wholeee week) and none of you cared enough to cheer me up? Weren't you afraid that I'll end up killing myself?? Do you know what a huge responsibility you all have to make sure I live long cuz you all know this world needs me???!!!!

I'm sorry to tell you this.. But you all failed.. You know why I never advertised for my weblog anywhere? Cuz I thought I have the best readers ever.. But if you don't care about my happiness, health and life in general, I need to find some caring enthusiastic readers and it just hurts!!!!!!

You Know that We Are Living in a Material World!!!!

Everyone has a friend who has nothing in this world and then one day a father's uncle's nephew of an aunt's neighbor dies..Coincidentally he/she was very rich and for 2 main reasons that are: 1) didn't have anyone and 2) was your friend's big fan he's given away all the money to your friend! We all know at least one person who's got rich like this, right?
So very secretly I made a list of far/old/rich/lonely relatives who I could count on.. After down sizing several times I came up with number 0!!!!
The number just broke my heart.. But then last month something happened maybe just to remind me never lose your hope!!! We wanted to sell our condo and you know who we did sell it to? An old lady that can hardly walk and talk!!!! I still don't know what the hell she needs this place for!! Anywayss when you wanna buy the place you bring your people to show them the place. right? She brought her friend.. someone who was soooo old that I can swear to god she's in this world illegally.. I'm serious the Death Angel can't find her for some reasons! So 2 very old ladies were thinking if she should get the place and she did it!!!
I'm not sure if you've got my point.. A rich/old/lonely lady bought our place!!! She could be the one..
So for a whole month I was living happily knowing I wasn't just a dreamer.. It was happening!
Make a long story short you know how when they buy a place they are allowed to check out the place several times? last night was her first time.. So I made her a hot chocolate to be a daughter she never had!!!
WRONG!!!! She came with 12 other people including her children, grand children and a sister and from what they were saying I realized one of the grandchildren is living with her!!! Little gold digger brat!!!!
I think I should accept it that I can never be that friend that other friends talk about and refer to as a lucky bastard!!!!!! Now I have no other choice but robbing a bank!!!
No other choice.. You understand No0000 Otherrrrrr Choiceeeeee!!!

Violence is One of the Most Fun Things to Watch!!!! (To Watch Not to DO!!!!!)

When they ask you what was your best day ever it's really hard to answer unless you've got married and you say your wedding day..Or the day you've give birth to a little kid.. But before huge things like that it's not easy to say when was the best day of your life!

But when it comes to worst days even without thinking you can say when was that.. Or at least I can say cuz it was yesterday and it's hard to forget..

So the whole thing started two days ago when I was on the phone and my brother asked me if we're going to "Paintball" with them.. You go to Wasaga beach.. You play, You swim, You get tanned..Who would say no to a whole fun day??!!

Our all inclusive fun day was yesterday.. I don't wanna get into details about how cold and rainy it was AGAIN cuz the whole weather thingy is getting boring.. I'm just mentioning it here to tell you our swimming, tanning, and other beach fun stuffs never happened cuz of the weather!!!!! Anyways we got there.. They gave each of us a coat, a mask and a gun! So I was like niceee looks like a war! We had to wait till the next game starts.. Meanwhile we could watch those who were playing!!!! OOHHHH My Goodness.. It didn't look like a war it was a war!!!!! The sounds were loud enough to freak you out!!!!

So by then I already felt kinda bad, I could hear my heart pounding and could feel my palms sweating.. So we went to the field and since I was so nervous I wasn't really listening to our leader that was telling us we should run to one side of the room and start shooting those who went to the other side of the room!!!! I just realized every one's running.. So like a sheep that has no other choice but following others I just followed my boy friend.. We found something to hide behind it.. The whole point was to kill people in front of you.. And by that I mean really killing them.. Those paint balls were soooo pain full.. I'm telling you they were not paint balls they were pure PAIN balls!!!!

After the first game I was so frightened and in pain that was just like I'm not gonna play anymore!!!! But my friends made me go back in there with saying:" You should get back in there and take revenge!!!!!!" As idiot as I am, I went in that hell one more time.. This time when I heard the whistle I ran so fast to get to the biggest thing I could hide behind and I sat there trying to find a way to run away!!! The only way to get out was to rise your gun.. It meant you've got shot and you have to get out of the game! But the thing was that while you had your gun in the air and was walking through the door people would still shoot you cuz they find it fun to see you jumping up and down while going out!!!!!!!

That was my last game.. For the rest of the day I was watching other guys playing and I couldn't help it thinking how people feel in real wars!!!! It's gonna be as scary as hell and gush pain full!

Anyways the result was a huge bruise on my knee, a bump on my finger and a broken heart of wasting my Saturday!!!!

I was telling my friends it was the worst kinda fun I could ever think of.. Before that I always thought skiing is the worst.. You know skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face but you go since everyone else is going and you just don't wanna feel left out!!! Thanks to god not so many people are big fan of this Paintball thingy and I don't need to force myself going there cuz everyone else is going!!!!

عادت شده یار مرا شیرینی بعد خواب ناز
ممنوع کردم بوسه را ترسم گرفتارش کند

خواهد که مهمانش کنم لبخندی از شهد لبم
دل میزند شیرینیش ترسم که آزارش کند

وقتست بداند هر چه او خواهد نباشد کام او
افسوس و ناکامی دل شاید که هشیارش کند

صد بار او را گفته ام از برگ گل نازکترم
باید نظر در گفته و رفتارو کردارش کند

ورنه به خواب بیند او گرمای آغوش مرا
سردی آه حسرتش ترسم که بیمارش کند

اشکم در آورده شبی خواهم که جبرانش کنم
باشد هوای پیکرم بر گریه وادارش کند

گفتم که عمری نام تو شه بیت اشعارم شده
شعری سروده تا مرا بانوی اشعارش کند

خواهد که در طرف چمن شاهد بگیرد نسترن
حلقه در انگشت و مرا یک عمر گرفتارش کند

باید نظر در گفته و رفتارو کردارش کند

Only Time!!!

I'm just so Tired of this Game..

Game of Arrow and Heart..

Gonna Give Away my Heart.

let Other Girls Play!!!

گفتمش دل ميخري؟

پرسيد چند؟

گفتمش دل مال تو،تنها بخند

خنده کرد و دل ز دستانم ربود

تا به خود باز آمدم او رفته بود

دل ز دستش روي خاک افتاده بود

جاي پايش روي دل جا مانده بود

When Angry, Count to four; When Very Angry, Swear!!!

There's someone inside you.. But you really don't care cuz you don't hear her.. But once in a while she wakes up and you feel she's restless.. She wants something but you don't get it.. and it makes you upset.. you know something's wrong but can't put your finger on it.. You need to be alone.. To talk to her.. To figure out the problem!!! You don't know how long it would take.. A day? A week? But you really don't mind.. you have to give it time to be happy again.. to feel the warmth in your blood.. To be able to laugh at jokes, mistakes, yourself,even life!!! And you need to do that not only for you..You owe it to people who are involved with you..
You can't get any help form outside..It's something between you and you..
All you need is time.. Is to be alone.. But people Hearing without Listening.. Or maybe it's just too much to ask for!!! What they do is they make the angry lady inside you fill you in and becomes you. And that's what you were fighting so hard not to happen: Preventing an upset lady to turn into an angry one!
Watch out people.. Watch ouuuutttt!!!

Sand Drawing/ Paintjam

دستخطي کـه تـو را عاشـق کرد,, شوخـيِ کاغــذي ماسـت، بخند

Some Go to Cottage to Read and Relax.. We Say Fuck Em We're Here to Drink and Have FUN!!!

It was the sign on the entrance of our cottage we went to last weekend.. I haven't put the pic to show off what a heaven we were in.. I just wanted to show you how much fun we could have but we didn't because of the weather!!!! I mean I don't get it! Why is it always like this?? Sunny and Hot weekdays, Rainy and Cold weekends!!!!!

This time was no exception: The whole week it was Sunny and Hot.. On Saturday it started raining and got cold.!!!! And Guess what??!! On Monday that we were leaving it all got sunny again!!

You know when you joke around with a friend which makes you laugh so hard but your friend hates the joke??

I swear to god I could feel god was laughing somewhere up there cuz he thought it's funny to make it rain as soon as we all were in our bathing suits and were going canoeing!!!

Dear people, when you wanna choose somewhere to live go with the good weather.. You can find job, nice houses, cool cars, fun people everywhere.. But a good weather is a must and veryyyyy rare!!!